Not All That We Are 4: Black Sails at Dawn
by Lizardbeth J
Summary: Past the Eye of Jupiter, the fleets are on course for confrontation, rebellion, and war. But the gods aren't finished with Kara or Sam, as the humans and cylons find out the truth of their past and their future. Epic, ensemble AU of S3/4, part 4 of Not All That We Are. also Anders/Six, canon pairs
1. Chapter 1

**NOTES: **"Not All That We Are" is an AU of the series with an ensemble cast, of a parallel but different version of canon, focusing on Sam Anders, Kara Thrace, and the Cylons in general. It's a story about destiny, being chosen, the Lords of Kobol, and the end of the circle of history.

**YOU ARE HIGHLY ENCOURAGED TO READ THE FIRST THREE PARTS. This story picks up immediately after the events of 'The Thread of Ariadne'.** There's a bit of a refresher at the beginning to reorient you to the story if you read it a while back, but you'll find it kind of hard to follow without the previous stories in the series. This one is also quite long, but it is (finally) finished, and I'll be posting it as frequently as I can!

For those of you who've been waiting patiently, thank you so much for your encouragement over the years. It's because of you, I had to finish it, at long last.

* * *

**NOT ALL THAT WE ARE, BOOK IV: Black Sails at Dawn**

**Prologue**

* * *

_Before leaving to free the youths of Athens, Theseus arranged with the king a message that could be seen upon their return: white sails meant the quest was a success, and black sails meant the quest failed and all was lost. Theseus left and slayed the minotaur, with the help of the beautiful Ariadne. He brought her home to be his wife, but she perished on the voyage, though some say jealous gods stole her away. Stricken by grief, Theseus left the black sails in place as his ship approached the shore. The king, believing the quest had failed and Theseus was dead, cast himself over the cliffs into the sea._

* * *

Days passed on the baseship, each slipping into the next with little change. Sharon watched Sam direct the baseship's course, listening to a sound only he could hear as his gaze stared blindly. He spoke rarely, and left the command deck only when Thea took his hand and led him away. He always returned though and never slept that Sharon saw.

She worried for him, but Thea was doing what she could, so Sharon worried also for her sisters who seemed to fall deeper into doubt the longer this mania of his continued.

But everything changed as soon as the ship came out of the jump into realspace. Sharon already had a hand in the datastream, seeing the human fleet orbiting a rocky planet. Was it Earth?

A chill went up Sharon's spine when she heard Sam say, "It's here."

Whatever they were chasing was here, at this barren planet that _Galactica_ had already found. Across all those light-years, they had followed a signal only one person could hear. But they'd found it at last.

"This isn't Earth," Natalie said, shaking her head and looking betrayed. "There's nothing but algae here."

"I need to go. Find it." Sam's eyes shut, and Sharon could see the truth of whatever he was feeling in his face. It was real. "I have to go."

For Sam to find it meant they had to get past _Galactica_. "Call a truce with Adama," Sharon said urgently. "We're not here to attack them."

"We don't even know what we're doing here," Natalie objected. "We should jump out."

Sam spoke, "No. It's here." His face held the same distracted, pained cast to it that he'd had for days while the signal had taken over his mind.

"Let him go," Thea pleaded. "I'll go with him, we'll take a Heavy Raider. But we need time to find out why we're here."

"Call for a truce," Sharon repeated, "before he starts lobbing nukes at us. We can't take on _Galactica_ alone."

"And tell him what?" Three demanded. "That our human brought us here to be slaughtered?"

"That's a lie!" Thea objected, incensed. "He brought us here because this is where we're supposed to be."

"He's going to get us all killed," Natalie said.

Sharon was annoyed by the objections when their course of action was so plain to her. "They have people on the surface. Adama will give us a truce to recover them."

Sam turned abruptly and headed for the door, ignoring everyone else. Thea followed, calling out, "Stall for time! Give Sam time to do what he needs to do."

"This is a trap," Three said. "We have to get out of here, before Adama kills us."

"He has yet to fire on us," Simon's voice was an oasis of calm in all the panic. "No doubt he's as confused by our presence as we are."

"Sharon and Thea are right," Caprica urged her sister and D'Anna. "We need to give Sam time. We're here for a reason."

"The reason is because he snapped," Natalie snapped. "And I'm not risking this ship for the whims of a crazy person."

"He's not!" Caprica insisted.

"All of you, shut up," Sharon exclaimed. "We're not leaving." She accessed the communications system and activated the main wireless. Taking a deep breath to try to quell the sudden anxiety - mostly at taking direct action without consensus support, but then she remembered who she was and what she'd done, and she was ready. "Galactica. This is the baseship, requesting to speak directly to Admiral Adama."

Then, as she waited, she met Caprica's eyes, and Caprica nodded her approval. Natalie's arms were folded, and she looked angry, but she didn't try to stop Sharon.

The response came after a moment, and Sharon recognized Dee's voice with a pang of regret: "_Baseship, you are on a channel to CIC. Admiral Adama is listening_."

Sharon kept one hand in the datastream, but tightened the other to a fist, praying this worked. He might hate her now after what she did, but she thought at least he might listen to her, where he might not listen to any other Cylon. "Admiral, this is Sharon Valerii. Boomer," her old callsign nearly got stuck in her throat. "Please, I know I've given you no reason to trust me, after what I did. I wasn't strong enough then, to resist. You don't know how sorry I am. But, please, listen. We are not here to hurt anyone. We're not here to attack you. We're here because God brought us here. We ask for a truce."

There was a pause and then Adama responded in his gruff voice, "_You've launched a Heavy Raider and a Raider squadron toward the surface. Pull it back or there's no truce_."

She exchanged a glance with Caprica, who shook her head. Sharon licked her lips and said, "But, admiral, that Heavy Raider must land. They're not after any of your people. They're looking for why we were brought here."

"_Pull it back_," Adama ordered, and then she heard him command, "_Main batteries target that Heavy Raider_."

Caprica's eyes went wide with horror. "No! Please! Don't shoot!"

Natalie's hand splashed into the datafont and she added, less frantically but still intensely, "We sent you your man. We sent you food. Isn't that enough to prove our intent? That ship means you no harm."

Then Roslin's voice came through, cool and authoritative, "_Let's dispense with the posturing and begging. Your ship is going toward the temple, and you want the Eye of Jupiter, same as we do. You may not have it, no matter how many treats you throw our way_."

The Eye of Jupiter. Sharon knew what that meant. "The Temple of Five? You found the Temple of Five?"

Then D'Anna smirked a little and added, countering Roslin, "Let me make this very clear, Admiral. You destroy that Heavy Raider and we will destroy you."

Sharon glared at her and hissed, "D'Anna, you're not helping." Sharon decided she'd have to be honest or this was all going to go horribly wrong. "Admiral, Sam Anders is on the Heavy Raider. I don't know if he's looking for the Eye of Jupiter or not, but I do know he needs to find what his vision is showing him."

"_Anders is on that Heavy Raider_?" Adama asked, sounding as if he might be willing to bend, after all.

Sharon answered, "Yes, he brought us here, but he's the only one who can find whatever it is that he's seeing. Please. I beg you, for all our sakes."

Adama hesitated for a moment, then ordered his crew, loudly enough she could hear, "_Targeting off. Let it land_."

The signal closed, without Adama confirming the truce, but since _Galactica_ wasn't moving to attack, she figured it was done. Sharon nodded and raised her eyes to the rest of her siblings. "There. Now we stay here, quietly, do nothing, and wait."

"The Temple of Five," Caprica said, shooting a triumphant glance at her sisters. "You see, Natalie? You need more faith. You thought he was mad - but he really was hearing it. He's looking for the Eye of Jupiter, to lead us forward."

Natalie looked unconvinced, and Sharon was sure she was thinking that hearing the voice of God might confirm insanity, not negate it. Because how could a mortal human, no matter how special, be expected to hear such a thing, and not be overwhelmed?

"What's to stop him from handing the Eye of Jupiter to the Humans, once he finds it?" Three demanded. "You know Thea and Leoben will go along with whatever he wants."

Another Two had come onto the deck to reform the consensus now that his brother had gone with Sam, and he said quietly, "As they should. He'll do what he has to do. Remember, he told us that Earth is not only for us; it's for the humans, too."

"Not if we get there first." Three pulled her hand from the datastream and folded her arms.

Leoben returned, his voice deep with disapproval, "And that attitude is why the Eye will go to the humans. And why we spent two weeks lost, so the Colonials found the Temple first."

"Their headstart hasn't seemed to help them all that much, has it?" Three smirked at him, unimpressed with his argument.

"He's not going to give it to them," Caprica protested. "He said his place was among us; he'll return to us."

"If he can," Three said, and nodded thoughtfully. "What if the humans try to take both? I'm sure that's why Adama let him land- let Sam find the Eye and then snatch both away from us. We should make arrangements to make sure they don't interfere."

Sharon didn't get a chance to ask what arrangements, because then she saw in the datastream that the _Galactica_'s Vipers were going after the Raiders. "Oh God, no- What are they doing?" Her stomach was tight as she watched the Vipers launch an attack against the Heavy Raider, feeling confused and upset. Had Adama changed his mind? Was he trying to kill Sam? Did he not believe her?

"So much for the truce," Caprica spat. "And after we told them- "

"Arm the missiles," Natalie ordered. "If they kill that Heavy Raider - "

"No!" Four called suddenly from his end of the datafont. "They're not attacking the Heavy Raider. Look!"

He was right, she realized. The Vipers seemed to be targeting the Raiders only, and leaving the Heavy Raider alone.

"They killed all our Raiders," Natalie said. "That's no truce."

"The Heavy Raider is continuing onward," Four reported.

The Heavy Raider was down moments later, diving to the ground like a sea bird suddenly stooping to the sea to catch a fish.

"Did they hit it?" Caprica asked. "I didn't see anyone fire at it."

"No, someone in the cockpit crashed it," Sharon didn't have to say who had made it fall from the sky.

Caprica's eyes met hers, through the projected data screens between them. "What the hell was he doing? They could've been killed!"

Then, new, even more unwelcome news, Natalie reported, "Multiple sensor contacts!"

They all shifted their attention to the new arrivals, anxious. Sharon wanted to laugh at her moment's concern, because who else could it be? It wasn't as if there could really be another fleet of human ships wandering out there, and they had already seen the civilian ships leave. But then, the impulse to laugh died away as the three new baseships flashed into range, already armed and ready for conflict.

_Galactica_'s orientation changed against this new threat and the sensors spotted their weapons going hot. They also recalled the Vipers that had trailed after the Heavy Raider.

Sharon signaled the baseships. "We are in a state of truce with _Galactica_. You must hold back."

A One appeared in the projection, looking as if he was standing before them. "Truce?" he questioned as if they'd all gone insane. "Why in the hells do we have a truce with _Galactica_?"

Caprica answered, "A Heavy Raider with Anders, Thea, and a Two has gone down to the surface. If we get in a battle, _Galactica's_ people will shoot them, too."

"And this is a problem, because...?" he demanded, and Sharon wanted to punch him. She hadn't forgotten his lies and manipulation, and apparently he still thought his voice should count for more.

"The Eye of Jupiter is down there somewhere," Three said. "Anders is looking for it."

"Oh, the next step on your mystical journey to Earth," he said with a mocking smirk. "Haven't you all figured out yet that he's not a prophet or oracle, he's just using your simple-minded faith to get what he wants? He wanted to escape you, and you all bought into his act."

"You're wrong," Caprica retorted. "It's not an act. You didn't see him."

"Oh, I've had some updates," One said and glanced at the Five at the forward datafont. Sharon glared at him- he'd been passing information to the Ones this whole time? Son of a bitch.

Five straightened and returned their glares with a curled lip. "He's a human. And he's corrupted you all. We're better off without him."

"He's an oracle," Caprica insisted. "And he led us here."

One snorted with disdain and scoffed, "The humans found it. It obviously didn't take "god" or an oracle to find it. And it's sort of curious that he found it so slowly the humans have been here for weeks. Almost as if he was delaying reaching here, so they'd have time to harvest their food." And damn him to hell, Sharon saw the doubt flicker across D'Anna and her own sister's face. One added, "But all we have to do to undo your mistake is use our weapons superiority and remove _Galactica_ right now-"

"No!" Caprica said, and Natalie echoed it, "No. Thea and the baby are on the surface. If we act against _Galactica_, she'll die. We need to wait and recover her and Sam as soon as he's done. We won't be able to do that if there's a battle here."

Sharon and the Fours and Threes all nodded, united again against that threat.

"Oh yes, the "miracle child"," One sneered. "But can I ask how you expect to recover them? Their Heavy Raider won't fly again."

"_Galactica_ will recover their personnel, leave, and then we can get ours," Sharon answered.

"So naïve," he shook his head at her. "The humans on the surface will kill them."

"They won't. I know them, and they won't do it," Sharon answered, hoping it was true. But surely the Colonials would have to be at least intrigued by another Cylon pregnancy? And that was assuming Thea was dumb enough to get caught, which considering how many Centurions were in that Heavy Raider was doubtful.

He glanced at her and made a face. "We should've boxed you on Caprica."

"Frak off," she shot back. "You're the one who's a liar and a traitor to the Cylon. We should box your whole line for lying to the consensus."

"Sharon, we're not going to do that," D'Anna said. She folded her arms. "The consensus has already spoken. We will wait and keep the truce until Sam finds the Eye of Jupiter. And then... we'll re-evaluate the situation."

There were no voices of dissent, even from Cavil, who nodded and closed the channel so he disappeared from the projection.

Caprica murmured in Sharon's ear, "God, do I hate him."

Sharon nodded her agreement, but saw that at least the other three baseships were staying at the edge of weapons range. The tense stand off continued for some time until they received a signal from _Galactica_.

"_There are Centurions firing on our people on the surface_," Adama growled. "_That is not a truce_."

"You killed our Raiders first," Natalie shot back.

D'anna lifted her free hand to quiet her and said to Adama, "We informed you of our intent. If you move your people out of the way, no one will get hurt."

"_Pull them back_," he ordered. "_Or I'll nuke the whole planet. And nobody gets the Eye_."

Sharon felt queasy at the threat. He'd do it too, if he felt he had no choice.

But D'Anna was less worried. "You're bluffing. You need the path to Earth more than we do. We can find it on our own. After all, we have unlimited time. You... do not."

Caprica shot a mutely shocked glance at D'Anna, who raised a hand to get her to stay quiet.

D'Anna continued, her tone hardening with warning, "But let's be realistic, Admiral - you know if you nuke the planet, not only do you lose the Eye, and your people, and the path to Earth, you'll probably lose your ship, because I have four baseships now. We're being very patient while your people block our oracle from finding what God sent him to find, but do not take our patience for desperation. We don't need him as much as you do. If you want to invoke the wrath of your gods for killing one to whom they have granted their power, be my guest. Baseship out."

She pulled her hand from the datastream, looking pleased with herself. Sharon was far less happy with the threat, and very nervous by the report that Centurions were attacking the humans on the planet, since that meant the humans were shooting back.

"What are you doing?" Caprica demanded. "Saying they don't mean anything to us? That it's okay if he nukes my sister and the baby? That we don't need the Eye or Sam to find Earth? Of course we do."

"But do we?" D'Anna returned. "As One pointed out, the humans managed to find this place on their own. We know we're on the right path; we can find the next step ourselves."

"We would never have reached this place on our own, and we have no idea where to go next without something or someone to tell us!" Caprica retorted, folding her arms and glaring at D'Anna.

"And if my sisters hadn't forced Sam into giving us the path, I doubt we would've gotten this far." D'Anna calmed herself, forcing a small smile. "If God wishes us to continue, we will be shown the way. You should have more faith, sister."

"I don't lack for faith," Caprica returned stiffly. "But I doubt God will be overly generous with miracles if we carelessly lose the ones He gave us already."

Four interjected, "It would seem the situation is an impasse for both sides."

Natalie let out an irritated huff of breath. "Why is it a stalemate at all? A full Centurion squadron should be enough to slaughter that small group of humans and get into the Temple."

"Orders," Sharon answered. "Sam wouldn't want the Centurions to kill his own people - he just wants them to move out of the way. And it looks like the admiral figured that out, too," she added, with relief, noticing that the _Galactica_ weapons batteries were still aimed at the baseships, not the surface. "He's letting the stalemate continue, too."

"This isn't going to work," Natalie observed tensely. "This can't last."

It didn't, but not for the reason any of them had expected.

Twenty minutes later, the Two reported with a frown, "The Hybrid is reporting strange radiological emissions from the local star."

"What? What does that mean?" Three asked.

He shook his head, hand in the datastream for a few minutes. "Its colors are... shifting. Something's happening."

Sharon shifted her own awareness to the data on the star. It really had changed, getting a strange corona around it.

"It's shrinking in diameter," Five added in astonishment. "It's smaller, but the core temperature is increasing. I think it's ... going nova."

"Right now?" Caprica stared at him. "It's going to go nova with us right here? That's impossible."

Three smiled. "It's God, Caprica. Don't you see? We have our sign."

'Yeah, it's a sign to get the hell away from here, right now," Five said. "When this star goes, this planet's going to fry."

"Launch a Heavy Raider, rescue our people," Caprica ordered.

"_Galactica's_ launched two Raptors as well," Natalie said.

"We don't have time," Five insisted. "We need to get away from here. That star can explode any second."

Not surprisingly, One reappeared in the projection and said cheerfully, "Time to go! You have noticed the rather large stellar body about to go boom, right?"

"We can't leave them here," Caprica objected. "There's a Heavy Raider on the way to - "

"There's a star about to shower this entire solar system with intense radiation, and a shock wave that'll likely obliterate this planet. Consensus here has already agreed to leave," he told her with a half-smirk.

"Then you go," Sharon said. "This baseship will stay and rescue our people."

"You mean rescue the human and the Six with the child," Cavil said, "because our people will resurrect just fine."

"Yes, we have to save the child," Natalie told him with narrowed eyes.

But they all saw that it was probably too late: the Vipers around _Galactica_ darted down and destroyed the Heavy Raider in flight.

Sharon lifted her eyes and met Caprica's, which were dark with worry and fear. "Adama will rescue them," Sharon reassured her, praying it was true. "They won't kill Thea when they see she's pregnant. They'll realize she's a miracle, just like Hera. Sam will be with her. It'll be okay."

"See?" D'Anna told her, with a smug, bright expression of understanding. "Didn't I tell you that God would give us the path? It's time to go, my brothers and sisters. We don't need this place anymore."

Everyone stared at her in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"Don't you see? The star is the Eye of Jupiter. And it's pointing to that stellar remnant - another nova from three thousand years ago, when the Thirteenth Tribe stopped here to pray for a sign," D'Anna explained, as if she had no doubts at all. "We need to go. Let the humans rescue their people, or not, it doesn't matter. We have the path. Ready for jump."

The Raptors headed for the surface, while the sun continued to heat up, preparing for its death.

Sharon watched both anxiously, praying the Raptors would get back to Galacica in time for it to jump clear, and praying Sam and Thea would be okay, then the baseship jumped and left them behind.

* * *

Ellen heard the step in the doorway and waited with outward patience for John to come in and tell her the news.

"Too bad you missed all the excitement at that Temple you named after yourselves."

Ellen looked up at John. "What? 'After ourselves'?" She frowned, wondering what he was complaining about now. "You mean the Temple of Five? It wasn't our choice to name it that. Pythia gave it that name long before we returned. It was called the Temple of Hopes in our history, because our ancestors stopped there to pray for guidance."

"But you did stop here on the way back." She nodded, but he already knew that. "How did you do it?" he demanded curiously. "Was it some sort of device? How did you know when to make the star explode?"

"What are you talking about? The star exploded? That's impossible. That was a yellow star. It should have a billion years worth of hydrogen-"

"It went boom." He gestured expansively then he leaned closer to her and murmured, "And Sam was on the surface, heading for the Temple."

She jerked her head up in alarm and glanced at the doorway, hoping and yet dreading to see him. Was he here now? Was he a prisoner, too?

John smiled, pleased to have gotten to her. "I'm sorry to disappoint you. He didn't arrive here, so he must be back on the human ship. But he wouldn't have been good company, anyway, since he's gone completely insane."

This wasn't the first time John had taken his perverse pleasure in telling her about Sam's troubles. "He's what you made him. You took away his true memories," she said. "But the mental block started to crack when you were torturing him. Now he senses there's something missing, but he can't access the memories. So of course, he's going a little mad."

John raised his eyebrows. "A little? According to the Fives, dear father Sam was hearing strange music leading him to the Temple. He refused to eat or sleep. He really believes that God is talking to him."

"You hurt him and locked him up alone for months. What did you expect?" she demanded, bitterness welling up. "You wanted to break him."

"I didn't expect it to work so easily," John replied. "In hindsight, letting the Threes use the neural amplifier was a mistake. It scrambled his brain and strengthened his delusion."

She felt a little ill, imagining how the Three had used it on him. If it hadn't been connected to the datastream, it could only have been a torture device, with the brain interpreting the neural signals as pain. She feared John was right. She remembered the angel on Earth, and Sam had seen one too, so she didn't doubt that God existed or that there were messengers. But everything she'd heard about Sam since New Caprica had nothing to do with the Sam she remembered - her friend certainly hadn't believed he could see the future or was an oracle of God. More distressingly, he seemed to be getting worse from what she'd been told. Her fingers twisted in her lap with worry for him. Resurrection and restoring his memories would help, but if he was truly broken and delusional there was nothing they could do.

John mused aloud, in startling echo of her thoughts, "Maybe it would be better to have him killed and get him out of his misery..."

She straightened in alarm. "No!" Even if he was gone, better to be gone out there, than trapped in here with John. She loved Sam far too much to wish him here with her, even if she wanted other company.

Then John gave a sigh. "Sadly he's with the humans and out of our reach, now. But the good thing about his insanity is he's given me back the consensus, now that they see what a mistake it was to follow him. I have to wonder if there's some unconscious programming in them to do what "dad" tells them to do - because really, I have no other explanation for their behavior the last few months."

"There's a part of us in all of you," she said, softly, knowing it wasn't going to work with John, but needing to try. "Your brothers and sisters can feel he loves them and he wants to help them, even if you tried to make him their enemy."

He chuckled. "Well, he certainly loved one of them quite a lot. Got her pregnant and everything. You told me that was impossible," he accused her.

"No, what I said was that it's only possible between individuals." She thought of the experiments that Barolay had told her about on Caprica - baby farms trying to breed Cylons on humans with no understanding that their actions were preventing the thing they wanted. "And Tory didn't specifically block our DNA because the idea of getting a child on one of our children was unthinkable to us." She smiled thinly, recalling what John had made her do when she hadn't known the truth. He stared back, unrepentant. She went on, "But Sam doesn't remember she's his creation. He treats her as he would any other woman who saved him from the hell you put him in. In return, he's inspired her into enough emotional maturity that she became fertile, and now they're going to have a child. You reap what you sow, John."

He snorted. "Another "miracle baby". We're well rid of her, too, acting as a focus for religious hysteria in the Sixes, especially. Let the humans deal with it."

Ellen was glad that the Six and the baby had survived, but she wasn't sure it was a good thing they were going to be on the Galactica. She knew Bill, and Roslin and Saul - oh especially Saul - were going to be suspicious and hostile. But so long as they didn't kill her, and hopefully being Sam's child they wouldn't, that was the best she could hope for. There was nothing she could do about it.

She asked calmly, "So where are we going now?"

"Oh, you'll like this. The Threes apparently figured out that the nebula is the next marker on the path and we're going that way. I've tasked the Colony to move near to Earth, in case Sam sends the humans there, and a few more ships to meet us at the nebula. By then, the baby will be born and -" He smiled at her, with an edge to his smile that she recognized with a chill, "I'll bring it to see you, so you can coo over it. It'll be your grandkid, in a sense. Very precious I'm sure, especially to Sam."

Her breath threatened to choke in her throat, and the bloodied remains of Daniel flashed through her mind as a reminder of what John had done the last time he'd been jealous about one of the Five's offspring. "And then you'll kill her like you killed Galen's son?" she demanded.

"I didn't kill Galen's son," he retorted smugly.

"At your order, then," she corrected in disgust.

"Oh, you're talking about the baby at New Caprica!" he said in feigned surprise, and leaned nearer, smiling as if he was about to give her good gossip. "That baby was never Galen's. I tested it; it was all human. So. No need to get upset, Mother. It wasn't even a hybrid." He shrugged with a casual disregard for the innocent life he'd taken.

Sam and Thea's child would be a pure Cylon child, but that wouldn't spare her his jealousy either. She could only hope that Sam and the others would keep her away from him. She asked John calmly, "So what are you going to do about the humans?"

"It's been fun, but I think it's time we stomp out the human roaches once and for all, don't you? It's tempting to wait until they get to that burnt out cinder they're so desperate to find, just for the laugh, but I'm sure the Sixes and Eights'll whine about exterminating them, so I have to do it while the Threes are still high on their messianic quest." He rolled his eyes. "I miss the good old days when everybody was excited to get with the program and kill all the frakking humans."

He paused and when she said nothing, he taunted, "Nothing to say? Not going to plead for them? Tell me how wrong and horrible I am? How disappointed you are?"

She shook her head sadly. "You haven't learned anything, have you, John? If God had wanted the Colonials all dead, he wouldn't have sent the five of us two thousand light-years to save them."

John snorted. "I'm sure "god" thought you did a great job with that."

She couldn't disagree - John was her failure. And she would stay here until she could correct her mistake by teaching him there was another way.

* * *

They met in the Hybrid's chamber, about the only place they could be sure of not being disturbed or overheard.

Sharon and Caprica had waited for others to come to them. The Two had been the first. Natalie approached Caprica, still uncertain about Sam but very certain in the path of individuality. The final surprise was one of the Fours coming up to Sharon to express his own faith, even in the face of many of his brothers' doubt. So the five of them gathered in the Hybrid's chamber, sitting in a circle by the wall, with the Hybrid's drone in the background of their conversation.

"If we're not careful, they're going to box us as defective," Simon said.

"It's not defective to make your own decisions," Natalie snapped.

He smiled faintly. "I know that. But I think many in our own models would disagree."

Sharon grumbled in disgust, thinking of her sister Eights. She could hold most of them by sheer force of will, but they didn't like conflict or being against the prevailing consensus. "I'll break the Eights, if they won't all come," she vowed.

"If you let them falter, then we lose the consensus," Leoben reminded her. "Or the Fours. The Sixes are already broken."

Sharon noticed sourly that he didn't point out that the Twos were the only ones united in their continuing support for the journey to Earth, becoming individuals, and Sam as their oracle.

"They weren't here," Caprica sighed. "They don't understand."

"The Ones never will," Natalie added. "And the Fives do nothing but whatever the Ones say."

"The Threes are the fulcrum," Simon said, "They think we can get to Earth without Sam. That we don't need him."

Natalie chuckled humorlessly. "Mad or not, he or the child are our only way to Earth. Anyone can see that. But the Ones don't want us to get to Earth. Or be people at all."

"And if the others don't listen?" Sharon asked. "What are we going to do? If they all turn against us, what can we do? There's just us."

For a moment there was silence, as they all looked at each other, feeling very alone.

"We need help," Caprica suggested. "Maybe we need to surrender to the Humans? Sam said Earth is for all of us, if we go to them, they can help us..."

None of them seemed very excited about the possibility. Sharon knew her sister was there and had been given a place on the ship, but she doubted a group of Cylons would be as well-treated. And if the Humans killed them all, they'd end up either dead for good or probably boxed, since she doubted the rest of the consensus would let them resurrect, after being traitors. It wasn't an option, at least not yet. "We need to handle our own problem," Sharon said. "If we run away, the others will screw it up worse, like they did showing up at the algae planet."

"There's one more thing we could try. We need numbers," Natalie suggested hesitantly. "If we can't depend on them to change of their own will, maybe we need to force it." Leoben's gaze cut to her, shocked, already knowing what she was going to say.

Sharon didn't though, and waited until Natalie said it, "We could remove the telencephalic inhibitor from the Centurions."

Simon stared at her. "I didn't realize Anders' insanity was communicable."

But Sharon nodded, thinking it through. "We want choice, right? We know what the Raider did when it had a choice - it saved Sam. We know the Centurions are intelligent, even if they're not as evolved as we are. Can we demand choice for ourselves and still keep them enslaved to our will?"

Caprica and Leoben nodded in agreement, but Simon, as ever, was more attuned to the practicalities.

"And what's to prevent them from killing all of us?" Simon demanded. "We know what they did to the Humans fifty years ago."

"Yes. We do," Natalie agreed, now calm and fearless that she'd decided what they had to do. "Which is why we should do the right thing."

"I'm not saying we shouldn't," Simon protested. "But will they understand that we're trying to help? Will they understand that the humans aren't their enemy anymore? Or will they try to kill everyone out of vengeance?"

"That's why we should only take the risk when we need to," Caprica suggested. "Once it starts, there'll be no stopping it."

"Yes. Are we agreed?" Natalie asked and held out her hand to the middle of their small circle.

Caprica was the first to put her hand on top of Natalie's. "Agreed."

Sharon put her hand on top and squeezed both beneath hers. "Agreed."

Simon took a moment but then nodded. His big hand rested atop theirs. "Agreed."

Leoben was last and he smiled faintly. "So say we all."

In the silence that followed, Sharon heard the Hybrid's constant murmur falter as well, and then the Hybrid declared:

"The board is set; the players move the pieces. A shadow swallows the children in the green field. Time is the circle that curves back on itself, repeating, repeating, repeating. End of line. Dead stars. Dead worlds. Love births fire and the hope of new buds in the garden."

* * *

tbc...


	2. Chapter 2

Kara knew inside the dream that she was dreaming. She even remembered the place- it was that strangely real plush concert hall where she'd been chasing Hera around, months ago. But despite knowing it was a dream, she didn't wake up.

Her feet were bare on the soft carpet with its tiny circle pattern as she headed down the empty corridor toward the tall wooden doors. She pulled on the handles, but they might as well have been concrete because they didn't budge.

"It's not time yet," Sam's voice murmured behind her. She turned to see "Sam" there. He was wearing Sam's C-Bucs home court uniform, and the jersey was glossy and black, like new. The last time she'd seen it in the real world, Sam had cut off the frayed sleeves and the thing had faded to dull gray.

It pissed her off. "You're not Sam. You don't get to wear his stuff. It's not yours."

He smiled faintly and lifted his brows in amusement. "You want me to change? You seemed more comfortable with a familiar face."

"I thought you were him; but you're not." She shuddered. "You ... you pretended you were him. We..." she remembered all those dreams and things she'd done in the dreams, and she insisted, "It wasn't real."

His smile widened. "Reality is such a limiting concept," he chided. "And you were connected by more than you believe. But... very well, if you insist."

Then he disappeared. She stepped forward, hand extended, as if she could feel him and he'd merely turned invisible. But there was nothing there.

"Here," another voice said behind her, and she whirled to see Leoben.

Or, she supposed, looking at him, no more Leoben than the previous face had truly been Sam. This one seemed more peaceful... knowledgeable in his deep eyes. He was also a better dresser than the Leoben she'd met, wearing dress pants and a sportcoat, as if he'd just come from a university lecture, not a thrift store.

"Better?" he asked, gesturing to himself. "I wore this face a long time ago," he mused.

She frowned. "You look like Leoben."

His smile widened enigmatically. "I do. Curious, isn't it?"

That was no kind of answer, and she knew she wasn't getting one out of him either. She folded her arms. "What do you want?"

He hesitated, and the amusement dropped away from his face. "Time is growing short, Kara. Events are in motion that will determine the fate of... everyone. You need to be ready."

"Ready for what? Because I have a destiny? More of that bullshit?" she challenged. "No double talk, no hints - tell me what this is about."

"Destiny doesn't mean you don't have a choice," he explained slowly. "It means you have a path. But you still must choose to walk it. Your mother - "

"Don't you talk about her. She believed it," Kara snapped. "She told me that again and again. It was her **excuse**."

"It was her reason. She wasn't wrong, Kara. You do have a destiny. You always have. But she's a good example of why knowing too much is dangerous. She taught you the wrong lessons. You've begun to unlearn them, but -" His hand fell lightly on her shoulder, but she jerked away.

She stared at the wooden doors. "If you're not going to say anything useful, I'm going to wake up now."

He hesitated. "I need your help," he admitted eventually.

That was a surprise. She turned partway back around to see he was watching her. "Oh?"

"Sam needs to fly again. William refuses to hear me, but he'll listen to you."

She narrowed her eyes at him suspiciously, remembering the last time she'd seen this face and what he'd told her in the brig. "Why? Why does Sam have to fly again?"

"Because it's his path. But until it opens again, he can't choose to walk it."

"That's not good enough," she retorted. "See, the thing is, I know he's seen something awful. So telling me it's his **destiny**," she snarled, starting to really hate the word, "just makes me want to say no."

False Leoben didn't exactly refute the implication, challenging instead, "Would you clip a bird's wings to keep it safe, Kara? Would you be like the Cylons and keep Sam in a cage? His soul is akin to yours and it suffers in confinement. He will never see his path locked inside the dead skin of this ship, with a metal embrace tethering him to skin and bone and flesh. And neither will you." His eyes met hers, kind but rueful, and he sighed softly, "Death is the birthright of the living. It is not the end; it's only a gateway to the other side. You should have no fear of it."

"But -"

His finger went across her lips, silencing her. "There is little time, and no destiny is fixed. We must act to preserve the ones who live and restore what should be, before it's too late."

* * *

The Admiral was in his quarters after she got off duty, when she went to see him.

"Starbuck."

"Sir," she greeted and tucked her hands behind her. "I won't take up much of your time, but I have a request. I'd like you to consider restoring Lieutenant Anders to flight status."

Surprised, he glanced up, the lights glinting in his glasses, then he waved to the chair opposite his small table. "Sit down. Why would you ask that?"

Of course, the real answer was that a being in her dreams told her to, but luckily she had some true reasons she could give. She seated herself and answered, "Because he's still one of our better pilots, sir. He didn't get a lot of experience before he was taken, but he has a lot of talent. With Kat's death, we need all of the good pilots we can get. And it makes more sense to use his skill than forcing him to sit around and do nothing."

He didn't answer right away, sipping his drink from the mug. "I'm concerned he might be too sympathetic to the enemy."

She shook her head. "No, sir, I don't think so. Of course he likes the two who came with him, but if the others attack, he'll defend us. I saw what he was willing to do - how fiercely he tried to protect his people on Caprica. I can only imagine what he'll do to protect his own kid."

He nodded, but still didn't seem particularly convinced. "But will he obey orders? He seems sure he's the tool of some higher authority, and a man who believes he can do whatever he wants is a poor soldier."

She leaned forward. "Admiral, he's not much of a soldier; he never has been. That's not going to change. But he's a team player, and if we get him back on the team, he'll play for us." She shrugged "I can't say he won't get a vision that'll lead him into something crazy, but maybe that's what we need. In the meantime, I'd like him to fly on my wing."

"Even after what he did?" Adama asked, gaze intent on her.

She returned his look steadily and admitted, "Rescuing him didn't happen like I expected, or how I wanted. But I still think we need him in flight."

He nodded slowly. "If you're sure this is what you want, Starbuck."

"I am, Admiral."

"Very well. Request granted. We'll see how he does."

She thanked him and when she was dismissed, went to find Sam to tell him the good news.

She checked the brig, and Sam was nowhere to be found. The guards said Thea was asleep, and Sam had taken the baby. Thinking he might be at the pyramid court to get an early start on the baby's skills, she went there. She found Hillard instead. The former C-Bucs player was throwing at the backstop on his own, trying to work out the stiffness from his previous injury. "Hey, you seen Sam?" she asked.

"Thrace," he greeted and hurled the ball at her. She caught it. "Yeah, he's sacked out in our bunkroom."

"Good, thanks." She threw the ball into the goal, smirking when it went in. "I'll have to kick your ass another time." But on the way to the door, she turned back. "You let him stay with you? You got shot by toasters on that planet because of him."

"It should've killed me," Hillard told her. "Toasters could've killed us all. But they didn't because he told them not to."

"And that doesn't freak you the hell out?"

"Nah. I'm not surprised he got a couple of them on his side." Hillard shrugged and bent to retrieve the ball from the catcher. "I've known T a long damn time. He's hooked into something I don't get, but I trust him with my life. If he says she's okay, that she helped him, then she did. I'm just frakking glad he's alive. And if he had to spawn with one of 'em - better they're here and not there, right?" Then he seemed to realize what he was saying and who he was saying it to, and shifted in discomfort, looking down at the ball in his hands. "But, y'know, I'm sorry it didn't work out with you two. Cylons frakked that up pretty good."

"Yeah, they sure did," she agreed heavily, and left.

Now that Barolay was a pilot, there were only a few of the old Caprica resistance left, and they'd taken over a small storeroom near the starboard pod. She knocked on the hatch and went in.

It was empty, except for Sam. He was seated on a bedroll, slumping against the wall as if he'd been dozing. He had a small blanket-wrapped bundle on his chest, and his hand looked especially large resting on it.

His eyes were open though, and he looked tense until he saw who it was. Then he straightened, looking more surprised. "Kara?"

"So this is where you sleep?" she asked, coming inside, looking around. There were some other blankets on the floor, and a few belongings she recognized from his stuff before he'd gone MIA. He must have recovered some of it. "And that must be Iris."

His expression softened as he glanced down, finger stroking the top of the head peeking above the blanket. "She's sleeping. Thea was exhausted, so I said I'd watch her for a while." He gave a little shrug. "Not like I've got much else to do."

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about, actually." She came a little closer. "I spoke to the admiral. He said he's willing to restore your flight status. You can fly again."

His finger froze in its soft stroking of the baby's head and his expression went utterly still and unreadable. "Oh."

She regarded him incredulously. "That's it? Your enthusiasm is overwhelming me here, Sam. Don't you want to? Or - " She remembered what Adama had said and wondered if he was more right than she had believed. She moved closer, trying to step between the bedrolls. "Do you not want to fight Cylons anymore?"

That got his attention. "No. That's not it. If they attack us, I'll defend Iris. No matter who it is," he declared. Now that she was closer, she saw the sidearm hidden in the blanket beside him, where his left hand had been resting when she came in. He probably shouldn't have one, but after what had happened to Boomer and Hera, she couldn't blame him for worrying.

"Then what?" she demanded. "I thought you'd jump at the chance."

"It's - " he glanced down to Iris again and took a moment to answer. "It's a surprise, that's all."

But that was plainly a lie, and she began to get a very cold feeling in her abdomen. "Sam... have you seen something happen in a Viper?"

There was no question the answer was yes, as he swallowed and his jaw tightened. He admitted, after a moment, "When I was in the Temple, I saw... a lot of things."

"What did you see?" she asked. "Did you see someone die?" Then the truth hit her like a slap in the face and she took another convulsive step forward. "Oh gods, it's you, isn't it? That bastard, and his frakking 'keeping you in a cage'. He knew all along!" she spat furiously.

His eyes snapped up to meet hers. "What are you talking about?" he asked, with apparently honest confusion.

She took a deep breath, calming down. But she certainly wasn't going to tell him about the apparition in her dreams who had first taken Sam's own face and now was taking Leoben's - that sounded crazy even in her own head. "Leoben told me.. . you saw your own death," she explained.

"Leoben told you I - How does he know about-? Oh, that." He seemed oddly relieved, as if he'd expected something else. The baby kicked, shifting in her sleep, managing to get one tiny foot free of the blanket. Sam waited until she was still again and covered the foot up, before he answered, "I - I told him I had a vision of dying, but it happened a long time ago, when the Temple was built. I lived a memory of someone getting killed. Murdered. It felt like it was happening to me."

He rubbed his cheek on Iris' head, closing his eyes, as if trying to erase the images from his mind.

"Oh gods, that's awful." But it was also a relief to find out her suspicion wasn't true, after all. "At least it's not your future. So, are you gonna take up the offer and come back to piloting?"

He moved Iris to lay on his lap, so he could straighten his back, stretching as if he'd been slouching against the wall for too long. That gave Kara her first view of the baby's face. She was still tiny and sort of squashed-looking, with a fuzz of light hair and pale skin. But Sam saw her as beautiful - he looked down at her with a gentle smile and brushed her cheek tenderly. Her head turned, reflexively seeking the touch, and he gave her the tip of his little finger to suck on.

"I'll come back," he answered, quietly. "I have to. She's a miracle. And I have to do everything I can to protect her and make things right for her."

Watching him, she remembered her own father, and how she'd felt loved when they'd sat side-by-side on the piano bench while he taught her to play. But he'd abandoned her to a mother who didn't love her. After, she'd dreamed that he'd come back for her and take her away, until she realized he was never coming back. She'd tried to shove the memories away, into a box to forget about them, but now, watching Sam, she couldn't help remembering the times her father had hugged her and read her bedtime stories. He'd loved her, but not enough to stay.

Something glinted in the light, and she realized it was her tag hanging at Sam's chest. He was still wearing it, even though Iris was right there. She remembered what Leoben had said - _"if you asked, he would cut them all for you_." But she didn't want to ask him to cut his ties to his family; she didn't want to be the reason another father abandoned his daughter.

Feeling for the chain around her own neck, she lifted it off. "Then, if you're joining up again, you need your tags back." He glanced up, lips parting in shock. He looked as if she'd kicked him in the chest. She went on, determined to get through this. "I've been keeping them for you, since you sent that one with Bulldog to me. I didn't want to give them back," she admitted, but then looked at Iris. "But I guess I should."

Sam didn't move to take his back, instead reaching up to clasp the tag still on his neck. His gaze went distant, staring into the past. "This got me through those weeks in that box. When Cavil took it from me, I ... I couldn't hold on. I started to hallucinate, living on imaginary boats that felt more real than where I was. I saw you, even though you weren't there." She listened to him, horrified, but for the first time understanding the true depth of his captivity and why he'd latched onto Thea afterward.

He continued, after a moment, "When I finally got the tags back, and I sent mine with Bulldog, this was the only thing I had left from before. I knew I'd have to give it up, and on that day the old Sam Anders would... be gone."

He swallowed but lifted her tag from around his neck and held it out. She hesitated, feeling this was wrong - this wasn't how things were supposed to be. She still loved him, and she could see how much he still loved her. She remembered her dreams of him, and the implicit promise in them that they would be together again.

But there was a tiny baby between them, and she wasn't going away. The baby's mother wasn't going away, no matter how much Kara might wish it. And Kara refused to be the one to destroy that family, not when she knew exactly how much it hurt to be the child whose father walked away.

Their fingers met, around the tags, and Sam tightened his grip, keeping her there. "Kara, I -"

She could see the words he was going to say shining in his eyes, and she shook her head, biting her lip, to make him shut up. "Don't," she whispered. "Don't say it."

She pulled her tag free from his fingers, left the chain with his two on the blanket and got to her feet. Without looking at him, she said, "Pilot briefing at 0800 tomorrow. Be there, Oracle."

He didn't speak as she left, letting her go.

* * *

tbc...


	3. Chapter 3

Kara went up to the podium, ready for the briefing, and her eyes went to Sam. He was back in Colonial Fleet tanks, with his own dog tags again. He was sitting in his old seat, with Duck to one side and Barolay to the other, and for a moment it was as if no time had passed since that year they'd been rattling around in this tin can.

"Attention on deck!" Hotdog called out, and she nodded to him before addressing the group.

"Morning. I'm sure you've all noticed we've got Oracle back with us today."

Duck and Barolay and some others let out cheers and catcalls. Sam raised a hand high in response, waving it around.

She continued, teasing, "So we'll have to see if he can still fly after lounging around in a Cylon spa for almost a year."

Barolay snickered and bumped Sam, teasing, "Yeah, you and I haven't flown against each other yet. Bet you'll be eating my exhaust."

"After you crash and burn, babe," he retorted.

"What about the toaster he knocked up?" Pike demanded. "I hear she's on the ship."

Kara was the only one who saw Sam's jaw tighten and eyes go cold and flat, but Barolay put a hand on his forearm to keep him in his chair.

Ordinarily she'd say Sam was too smart to let Pike's loud mouth provoke him, but then again, he'd kept a sidearm with him while he was tending the baby, so he was already feeling defensive. Kara decided she'd better get in between before they got in a fight. "She is," Kara answered calmly. "She's in the brig, as she's been since she and the other one, a Leoben model, helped Sam escape."

"Her name is Thea," Sam added, quietly and without looking at anyone, but his voice carried to the back of the room. "And my daughter's name is Iris. Thea and Leoben saved my life. They followed me; they came here because of me. I would hope, knowing how much they helped me, that all of you would help me protect them."

A brief silence fell, and the only objection was some impatient rustling. But no one was brave or stupid enough to say no. Duck said aloud, "Of course, Oracle. We're family."

Kara looked at the gathered pilots and her fingers tightened on the edge of the podium, hoping that bringing Sam back wasn't going to put the team under too much pressure. Maybe one Cylon spouse and one hybrid baby were all that some people were inclined to accept.

She hoped not, because she knew Sam would choose the side that protected his child, no matter what. So it was her job to integrate Sam into the squad again, so the squad would accept him - as Duck said, he was family, too. It was time everyone remembered that. She cleared her throat. "Now, if we can get to the day's business. We've got a promising source for Fleet refueling operations, which the Old Man wants to scout for hostiles..."

* * *

"_How you doin', Oracle? Found the throttle yet_?" Kara's voice joked over the wireless.

Even as he pushed it to catch her, he answered dryly, "I think so... oh there it is." And he put on the afterburners to zoom past her at close range, taunting her so she couldn't resist.

"_Oh, no, you don't_." She started to chase him before she announced, "_Duck, you have lead to check out the gas giant. I have to teach our nugget here a lesson_."

Laughing, Duck answered, "_Wilco, Starbuck_."

"_Oracle, change heading for the moon. Let's see what you remember_."

Grinning, he turned to go that way. Out here in the stars, flying felt like playing pyramid in a full stadium. It was all speed and adrenaline humming in his veins. He pushed his Viper to the limit, competing against Kara as best he could, as they raced through the craters and canyons of the old chunk of airless rock.

He let go of everything else, concentrating only on flying. No memories, no visions of doom, no babies, just him and Kara against the black. She pursued, and he evaded, not quite managing to turn the tables on her, but still twisting free at the last minute several times.

"_Damn it. Hold still_!" she exclaimed in frustration.

He laughed, and dove to the deck again, nearly managing to lose her. But she came after him, daring a tighter turn, and he heard the high pitched warning of weapons lock when he leveled off.

"_Ha_!" she crowed. "_Got you! Didn't see that one coming, did you_?"

"Damn it," he groaned, disappointed. But he still smiled when she pulled alongside. "Next time, I'll make that twist, too."

"_Sure you will, Oracle, sure you will_," she taunted. "_I'll just find another way to beat you. You're old and slow_," she teased, and he could see her grin through the canopy.

"Oh, ouch, I've never heard that one before," he retorted dryly, rolling his eyes. He'd been getting young players trying to taunt him with those words since the Wildcats; the older he got, the less it bothered him. "Game over? Or do you have to test me some more?"

"_You pass_," she answered, now serious. "_If anybody was thinking you can't hack it, they don't anymore. Welcome back, Oracle_."

The words pleased him more than he had expected. "Feels good to be back," he murmured. And it did. The Viper cockpit felt familiar in a way that the _Galactica_ didn't.

"_Good. That's enough for today_," she turned back toward the ship and he saw the blaze of her thrusters before she said, "_Race you to the barn_!"

"Hey!" He kicked in the afterburners, knowing he was never going to catch her with such a headstart, but he followed her laughter in.

On the way, he lifted his head to look out at distant stars. Wondering. Earth was out there somewhere, probably not too distant.

But nothing called to him

* * *

"Damn, you're slow," Kara grinned at him cheekily as he climbed down from the cockpit. "I've been here for ages. Right, Chief?" she asked Tyrol, who was coming near to get his report. He didn't quite look at Sam.

"Of course, Captain," Tyrol answered. "Any problems, lieutenant?"

"No. It flew fine. Just like the one I had before."

"Good." Tyrol walked away, leaving Sam wishing he could say or do something. He remembered being friends, or at least allies, and it felt wrong now to feel this distance, even though he knew they weren't friends here and now.

"Oh, look, there's Julia. Come meet her, Sam. She's the one who saved Hera off New Caprica." Kara marched off, toward a familiar woman waiting by the main hatch.

"Kara," Julia smiled a greeting at her, but turned her eyes on Sam. "I'm sorry to bother you again, but I promised to deliver a message."

"Again?" Kara asked. "You already know each other?"

"I had to ask him," Julia murmured in explanation. "About Kacey. And she's going to live, Kara. She's going to see Earth. Thank you," she said again to Sam. "You... gave me hope. That's a precious gift. And I can't thank you enough."

He shrugged, now distinctly uncomfortable. "You said you had a message? From who?"

She glanced to the side and then pulled them away from people, into the shadows underneath the observation catwalk. Kara followed. Julia murmured, "From Baltar."

"What? He's in the brig," Sam said, frowning. "Why the hell does he want to talk to me?"

"I don't know, he didn't speak to me directly. Since I'd met you, I volunteered to pass the message."

"But why would you do anything Baltar wants to do?" Kara asked.

Julia faced her, an earnest expression on her face. "Have you read his book, Kara? He makes a lot of sense in it; he says things I've always believed true. We'll never heal if we keep looking backward. Not all Cylons are our enemy. New Caprica failed because we weren't ready; but our future is together, in children like Hera and Iris. Right, Sam?" she turned back to him suddenly. "That's what it's all about."

"Baltar says that?" Sam asked, frowning. Julia nodded.

"He knows the truth. So you'll go see him? I'm sure you have a lot to talk about."

"I..." He didn't really want to get involved in Baltar's trial. It was bad enough he was seen as a Cylon sympathizer, without also being a crony of Baltar's. But if Baltar was spreading word that both races had to work together, that was the same as Sam's mission among the Cylons. "I will."

Julia smiled brightly at him. "Thank you. I'll let the others know."

She hurried off, and Kara rounded on him. "You aren't really going to visit him, are you?"

He shrugged, wishing this weren't so distasteful. "Look, I know what he did. I know all of it. And I know he's trying to save his own skin and shift the conversation away from New Caprica. But ... if what he's saying makes things a little safer for Iris and Thea, then I have to at least hear him out."

Kara heaved a sigh but didn't disagree. She shook her head at him in rueful amusement. "This from the guy who told everyone who would listen that Baltar was full of crap and New Caprica was going to fail terribly."

"I know, I know," he groaned. "C'mon, let's go change."

On the way to the locker room to stash his borrowed flightsuit, Sam wondered what Baltar really wanted. Sam had been on the ship for more than a month, and this was the first he'd heard about Baltar wanting to talk to him.

Kara broke into his musings. "So Julia asked you to tell her the future? Does that happen a lot?"

"Too often. And I have to tell them no." The worst were the people who thought his refusal meant they needed to bring a bigger gift.

"Maybe that's what Baltar wants - for you to tell him his future."

He snorted. "Don't need a special vision to know that, not with Roslin itching to airlock his ass."

She chuckled. "No, guess not." As Sam sat down on the bench to pull off the boots, she asked softly, "Sam? Have you ever seen anything about me?"

He froze, struck by the question. But he rarely saw anything about other individuals, and nothing about Kara. "No." He swallowed and dampened his lips. "Do you want me to try?"

"Can you do that now? Actually get a vision when you want?" she asked and sat next to him on the bench.

He shook his head and gave a tight shrug, aware suddenly of how close she was. "Not usually. But I don't usually try either."

"All right. Leoben keeps telling me I have a destiny. So let's hear it." She smiled cockily, throwing down the challenge.

Remembering what he'd once seen of Galen's future, he hesitated. "I don't know if this is such a good idea," he murmured, staring into her eyes. "It could be bad."

"How bad could it be?" she retorted, but her voice faded to a whisper as he reached out and touched her cheek with his fingers.

_Let me see something, let me give her something in return for what she gave to me_, he prayed, trying to open himself to the voice of God again and see something for Kara.

But he didn't actually expect anything to happen.

The light of the ship brightened, making her hair shimmer golden. Behind her, the grey metal of the lockers faded away for blue sky.

"Sam?" she whispered, her eyes widening. "You see something? Really?"

"You're on a planet," he murmured and he kept staring because he didn't want to blink and lose it. "I see sky. The breeze is salty like the sea. I think... I think it's Earth. God, you're so beautiful in the sunlight..."

He leaned closer, drawn by those liquid eyes, and she watched him with slightly parted lips, her quickened breaths touching his skin. His hand cradled the side of her face, fingertips in her soft hair. She tipped her head toward him, and the touch of her hand was warm on his thigh.

The banging and groaning of the hatch opening made him start guiltily, and he dropped his hand. Duck and Hotdog came in, laughing about something. Sam turned away, throwing his boots into the locker and trying to catch his breath.

When Duck got close, he paused and looked at him and Kara, sensing something was off. "Everything okay?"

"Sure." She stood and slammed her locker closed. "Why wouldn't it be? Thanks, Sam. Um, you're cleared to fly all but long CAP missions. Lucky you."

She forced a smirk and left.

Duck asked again, looking from the hatch back to Sam. "You sure everything's okay?"

"Yeah." Nothing had happened. Nothing was going to happen, so long as he stayed away. And certainly nothing had happened that he could tell Duck about. Frak. But then he thought of Kara and Earth. "I ... saw something." Hotdog drew nearer at the words, so Sam looked up at them both. "You two are my friends, so promise me something - I don't know when, I don't know how, but Kara will stand on Earth someday. Follow her."

Duck nodded somberly, believing him. "I will." He put a hand on Sam's shoulder. "You okay?"

Sam forced a smile. "Fine. Just tired." Taking a deep breath, he closed his locker. "I have some things to take care of. Thanks." He squeezed Duck's shoulder, patted Hotdog's back, and followed Kara out the hatch.

In the corridor, he turned toward the brig. Instead of going to Thea though, he went down the way to the marines standing guard on the outer door. "I'm told he asked to talk to me."

They conferred but apparently had no specific orders to keep him out, while there was a standing order allowing him into the brig as a whole, so they unlocked the door and let him in.

Unlike Thea and Leoben's special-built Cylon cells, Baltar's was much smaller with room only for a small table, cot, sink and toilet. Instead of the wire-mesh composite walls, this one had bars across the front.

Baltar was writing at the table. He was unshaven and long-haired, but he smiled broadly when he saw Sam. "You came!"

Sam moved closer to the bars. "I wasn't sure if I should or not. What do you want?"

"Just to talk. I loved a Six, too, did you know that?" Baltar asked. "That's why I'm here. Because I loved her."

Sam interrupted, impatient, "If you want to know whether I know anything about your future, the answer's no. And when I did tell you what I knew, you didn't frakking listen. Nobody ever frakking listens," he added bitterly.

Baltar tilted his head. "They can't, can they?" he asked. "We're all a part of god's plan. You and me, more than anybody."

"You?" Sam retorted. "It wasn't god's plan to get people killed on New Caprica. That was nothing but your ego. You collaborated -"

"They held a gun to my head!" Baltar exclaimed. "What could I do?"

"You could've said no."

"Like you did?" Baltar snapped back. He stood up and approached the bars. "See, it took me a little while to figure it out, but I remember in the occupation how some of the Cylons talked about needing approval of their various projects. I couldn't figure out who they were getting approval from, since it wasn't the Cylon consensus on the surface, or me. Then I realized, it was you, the one they called their oracle. You were telling them what to do up on that baseship. If I'm a collaborator, then so were you."

Sam's stomach lurched with guilt and then anger surged up to replace it. "Yeah, they wanted me to tell them what to do, for a couple of weeks. And you know what I got for it? Beaten half to death and put in a white box smaller than this cell."

He leaned closer and murmured, "When I was rescued by my friends, one of the Sixes on my baseship confessed to me one night. She told me what she had done. With you." It was very satisfying to see Baltar's eyes widen as Sam whispered through the bars, "She told me the reason the other Cylons call her Caprica and why they say she's a hero of the Cylon. So if you start talking about me or my daughter, I will give that story to Laura Roslin and that's all she needs to make sure you die. Do you understand? Do not frak with me. We're nothing alike."

He turned to get out of there, angry at himself for letting Baltar get to him. He made it to the door before Baltar's desperate voice called after him, "We are, Sam! We're alike, we're both tools of God. She told me I had to survive, I had to give in to save them. The angel told me."

Sam's hand froze before rapping on the door to tell the guards that he wanted out. _Angel_.

"She says you know what I'm talking about."

Sam lowered his hand and turned around. "Who? Who says?"

"She says," Baltar said with a significant glance to Sam's left. "She's right there." His eyes tracked something Sam couldn't see, until it should've been at Sam's left shoulder.

For a moment, Sam almost believed him, then he snorted, wondering why he was buying into this. "There's nothing there."

"Of course not, she's in my head, but that doesn't mean she's not real, does it?" Baltar laughed nervously. "She says she's an angel of God. Sometimes."

The echo of what "Kara" had told him made same uncertain again. Was it possible Baltar really was seeing something? He closed his eyes and concentrated, projecting his boat around him, hoping to see her. Was she here? Was she talking to Baltar, too? And why did that make him feel sick to his stomach?

But he only saw Baltar in the projection, not a mysterious messenger of God. He let the projection go. "I don't see her. What does she look like?" he asked, bracing to hear Kara.

"Like one of the Sixes, but... more. "

Like a Six? Like Thea? He started with surprise, remembering a vision with Hera and two entities who looked like Six and Baltar himself.

"You've seen her, too," Baltar realized, watching his face. "You really do see her. Then I'm not crazy. She's real."

Frakking hell, how did he get manuevered into this? But he had to admit it was good to find someone else who had the same thing happen to him. Sam sighed. "I thought it was a vision. And I've only seen her looking like a Six once; the rest of the time she looks ... like someone else."

Baltar's relief changed to surprise. "She doesn't look like a Six? But I thought, because you love a Six, too, that you would see the same face." His gaze searched Sam's for a moment. "Oh, of course, I should've known. She likes to prey on our longing, and that means she's someone else for you." His gaze shifted to the side as if he was listening to something and then smiled. "Kara Thrace, isn't it? That's who you really want."

"None of your business," Sam said sharply, but knew he was only confirming Baltar's suspicion.

Baltar smiled and changed the subject, now that he had Sam's full attention. "Did you read my book? It comes from what she's told me about destiny and God. We all have our parts to play. For me, it was to bring about the Flood. Only in destruction of the corrupt and decadent could we find renewal eventually."

Sam's lip curled. "So the destruction of the Colonies was a good thing? Is that what you're telling yourself?"

"Necessary, not good. It would've happened in the First Cylon War, long before my time, except the Cylons stopped for some reason. Only facing the end will we finally reach out to our enemies and find a new way. I had to do it. And when it's your time, you'll have to do it, too."

That made a chill slip down his back, which made him angry. It wasn't for Baltar to know these things. "You're wasting my time. You're not telling me anything I don't already know."

Sam started for the door again, but again Baltar stopped him, declaring, "You have to cleanse yourself of sin. That's what she says." Sam turned to see Baltar frown and ask the empty air, "What are you talking about? What sin?" But he apparently got an unsatisfactory answer, because he pouted a bit, and faced Sam again. "Does this make sense to you at all?" His eyes shot to the side and widened in alarm. He shook his head in protest. "No, I can't say that."

Then abruptly his head smashed right into the bars as if it had been pushed, and Sam jerked backward in surprise.

"Okay, okay," Baltar said desperately, "I'll tell him." Still against the bars, he lifted his head to look at Sam, not without sympathy. "I'm sorry. She says ... she says ... you have to die."

Sam remembered a dim orange light, the smell of thick incense, and his blood on the stones, and he felt no surprise, just weariness. "I know," he whispered.

He turned and Baltar didn't say a word to stop him as he left this time.

He hesitated outside Thea and Leoben's cells, but he knew they'd see too much, and he couldn't talk to them, not yet. He wandered the corridors, until he ended up outside the chapel.

Inside it was deserted, lit only by the presence lamp on the main altar table. He let the hatch shut quietly behind him and looked at the unlit candles and incense sticks, and the small medallions and idols that were all people had left of what had once been grand temples in the Colonies.

"As it should be," a familiar voice said behind him. "Our day, too, is passing."

He whirled around to see Kara there - not the flesh-and-blood Kara he loved, the other one. She was wearing Kara's clothes, but her hair was long and most obviously, she seemed to have a light shining on her as she stood there and watched him.

"Why didn't you tell me yourself? Why tell Baltar?"

"That wasn't me, Sam."

"There're two of you?"

"We're not the only ones either. And she claims I'm the one who interferes." She sniffed disdainfully, then circled him, ending up at the side of the altar. "Beware of her, Sam. She wants you to follow your destiny."

"Isn't that what you want?" he asked, frowning in confusion.

"I want you to choose freely, understanding the truth. And one of the things they would have me hide from you is that Iris shouldn't be alive." She waved a hand and the candles on the altar sprang into small golden flames. "She frightens them."

He smiled mirthlessly. "Because she's a Cylon?"

"Because she's a miracle."

He wanted to believe that, but he knew what Iris really was. She wasn't a miracle; she was a hostage. What God gave, He could take away if Sam didn't follow the path. He stared at the candles until the lights blurred in his vision. "Is it true?"

"Is what true?"

"Is it true?" he demanded, lifting his face to her, anger burning inside. "What she said. Tell me, damn it, is it true?"

She didn't have to ask what the other being had said. "You know it is. All living things must die, Sam. And you, because of what you did, you have to choose it."

"I have to kill myself?" he asked, not really surprised.

But she was shocked and took a step toward him, shaking her head with her hand outstretched. "No! Suicide is a sin. But when your time comes, you must surrender to true death. No evasion, no immortality, no resurrection- acceptance. And then, you will have the chance to end the cycles. If you fail, your four companions have their chances as well. If all five of you blow it, then the cycle begins again."

Overwhelmed, he could only stare at her, until he finally found his voice. "Why? Why me? What did I do?"

"What didn't you do?" she returned, with a wry smile. "You over-turned the pattern of creation and threw it on the floor."

"Because we created resurrection on Kobol," he said, not taken in by her levity. He didn't really have to ask the question; he knew. "We cheated death. And it led to that horror you showed me on Kobol. That was our crime, wasn't it? Our sin?"

He remembered the bodies and ruins on Kobol. He had brought war to a place that had none, and in fighting for more life, had brought more death.

Her face crumpled with sudden sympathy, and she was suddenly before him, holding his face between her hands. "No, my love, don't you see? You were right. Death isn't always the right choice, no matter what the others say. And life is never wrong. You taught me that. Your choices were made in love. And they are choices. There is more than one path. Remember that and don't despair. I'm here to help you." She kissed him, then pulled back with her hand on his cheek. "Be patient and I'll see you soon," she promised.

Then, she was gone, with the only trace of her in the lit candles and the lingering feel of the press of her lips against his.

'More than one path.'

He prayed that was true, because right now he saw no way out of this.

hr  
tbc...


	4. Chapter 4

She was in her old apartment on Caprica. There was a giant mandala on the wall but the sight of it made her angry, she picked up buckets of wall paint and threw them at the mandala, until eggshell white covered the wall, her skin, her hair, everything.

Strong hands gripped her shoulders from behind and slipped down her arms. She leaned into the touch, back into a hard chest, letting her head tip back as the hands cupped her breasts, sliding in the paint in a caress until she was biting her lip, wanting more. She reached behind with both hands, her own hands slick with paint on his hips and down his thighs. He caressed down her stomach and between her legs as she bit her lip to keep back a moan.

Knowing fingers stroked her, while lips and teeth nipped at her neck and ear, bristles of beard scraping her shoulder. Her fingers tightened, as she shuddered, but that wasn't enough. She arched, pushing her hips back to feel he wanted her just as much, wanting more, wanting the feel of him in her, hard and fast. "Yes, c'mon," she let go to put her hands on the wall, covered in paint and it felt so perfect when he thrust inside her. "Yes, yes, that's what I need, c'mon, baby," she muttered and grunted as he frakked her, his hands on her hips to hold her steady.

Her head was swimming with the fumes, and everything felt suddenly far away as if she was flying, and yet she was still tethered to the ground by this feeling tightening in her lower belly.

She slammed her hips to meet him, "let me go," she chanted, "let me go, let me fly, damn you, do it-"

Then finally it snapped and she was free, to fly. And the winds lofted her, as the pleasure jolted through her like lightening. But then it turned, the winds betrayed her and she started to fall…

She reached out with both hands, trying to catch herself, but her fingers slipped on the paint. The winds tore at her, trying to pull her down. "No, no, I don't want - no - I can't - " she protested.

A warm body was still behind her and a familiar voice murmured in her ear, "There's nothing to fear on the other side, Kara."

She turned to confront him and opened her eyes to find she was in her rack. Sweaty and not at all satisfied, she pulled back the curtain, and sat up.

Hotdog looked down. "Starbuck, you okay?"

She glanced up at him, for a moment wondering if he'd go for it, but Brendan Costanza wasn't what she wanted. "Frak," she muttered. "I'm gonna take a shower."

She ended up not at the showers but at Joe's. It was quiet, and Conner gave her two shots without her needing to say anything. She lifted her brows at him and he shrugged, answering "You look like you could use them."

She drained both, hoping that was enough to wash the dream out of her memory, and was about to signal for a third, when she noticed someone come in the far hatch. Lee looked tired, his uniform jacket half-undone, and he joined her at the bar. "Hey,' he greeted her with a tired smile. "Aren't you supposed to be in your rack?"

She shrugged. "Couldn't sleep. You?"

"Haven't tried yet, writing up the schedule for the mining operation with the colonel." He slanted a glance at her as Conner set out shot glasses for them both. "You approved Oracle for flight status."

Shrugging again, she answered, "He flew fine. A little rough, but that'll fade with some more time in flight."

Lee opened his mouth as if he wanted to ask her something else, but since the last thing she wanted to talk about was Sam, and especially his Cylon girlfriend, she smiled, "Bet you need more time in flight, too. Gonna lose flight status, Apollo, if you don't practice handling your stick."

"I handle it just fine," he slammed back his shot.

She chortled, "That's what they all say, and then they get in the cockpit and suck."

"Anytime you want to throw down, I'm there," he retorted, trying to glare at her, but she saw the telltale glimmer of a smile.

"You wish." It was so easy to slip into taunting him, so easy to know how to push his buttons. And she had the feeling he was letting her anyway, knowing where this was going to go. She stood up, "Going back to the racks."

"I'll go with you."

They got exactly as far as the next empty supply room, where she dragged him in the hatch and shoved him against the bulkhead.

His mouth was hot and heavy on hers, d her hands threaded in his hair to keep him against her, grinding her hips against his hoping he'd get the message.

Then with a sharp breath, he pulled away. "What are you doing? No, Kara, stop. Not like this."

She tried to pull him back, "Okay, how do you want it then?" she slipped both hands down his back and pulled him by the hips tight against her. "Mmm, not totally disinterested, Apollo, c'mon, let's frak, you know you always wanted to."

She kissed him some more, biting his lip when he tried to pull back.

"Kara - " He jerked his head to the side. "What's this about?"

She slid her hands down his chest and the front of his pants. "If you have to ask…"

He grabbed her wrists. "No, you're drunk and I'm not going to cheat on Dee, just so you can punish Anders."

Stung by the unjust accusation, she jerked away and stepped back. "Well, frak you, then." At the hatch she looked back over her shoulder, "Why is it that you only remember Dualla five minutes later, Lee? You should think about that."

Then she slammed out of there, angry and still wanting something - _someone_ - to get this itchy feeling off her skin.

* * *

At morning briefing, Sam followed Jean and Duck in, and took up seats in the front row.

Kara was already there, talking to Helo, and when she went to the podium, Hotdog called attention.

"Today is a big operation day. The Raptors will be doing sensor sweeps of the moons, looking for more useable deposits of ice or tylium ore. If you happen to stumble on something edible that's not algae, for frak's sake, report it asap."

"So say we all," more than a few pilots murmured fervently.

"Helo has your individual assignments." She went on, "Vipers will do CAP rotation as scheduled. Hotdog's squad will be flying escort for the Raptors. Duck, your squad will join me, escorting the _Grantha_ into the planet for refueling."

Sam glanced at the board. He was with Duck's squadron, which was something of a relief, since Pike and Narcho were on Hotdog's and they'd already made their displeasure at his return plain.

Kara touched a control and the overhead lights dimmed. A projection appeared of the large gas giant with its multitude of moons appeared. "This planet's nothing but a storm, and a hard deck only five hundred klicks in, so watch yourselves."

The image focused in, only shades of grey, but he stiffened at the sight of the storm-tossed bands and planet-sized hurricanes - he'd seen this before.

... _a Viper in the midst of swirling gas, and the undeniable knowledge that he had to do this, and the Viper blew up with a burst of white_...

His fingers went cold and numb, and he didn't hear another word Kara said. When she dismissed the pilots, he rose automatically, following Jean beside him.

The words of the messengers haunted his ears. "_to clean yourself of sin. All living things must die. Because of who you are and what you did, you have to choose it._.."

"Sam?" Barolay asked, nudging him, and he blinked with a start, tearing his gaze away from the image on the screen. "Hey, you okay?"

The other pilots were filing out, and he forced a smile. "I'm fine."

Knowing him well enough to know he wasn't 'fine' she frowned. But before she could speak, he gripped her shoulder. "I'll meet you in the locker room. I .. I have to go. Run an errand. I mean, go to the head." He wanted to kick himself for the babbling lies, which Jean saw through instantly. "I'll catch up with you."

Before he could blurt out the truth, he ducked out and hurried to the brig. He knew he shouldn't do this; if Thea figured it out, he'd be stuck. But he couldn't help it. It wasn't fair to leave without a word when this might be - probably was - the end.

He tugged at his dog tags. They were both his own again, and he knew what that meant. What he'd foreseen in the Temple was here, now. It was something of a relief, to face it at last. It had been hanging over his head 'in the future' but now it was _here_.

Thea glanced at the door, frowning as he came in. "Sam? Aren't you on duty?"

"I am," he answered. Looking into her eyes made the guilt well inside him - she was here because of him. She could be with her people, not stuck in this cell. But she wasn't because she'd followed him.

He smiled at her, hoping the smile didn't look as sickly as he felt. "Wanted to see my favorite girls before we fly." Iris was asleep on the cot next to Thea, and he bent down to kiss her head and feather a finger across her soft cheek.

"She's perfect," he whispered. And he couldn't protect her anymore. "She'll follow Hera as the shape of things to come. The next generation. An age of peace."

"Sam?" Thea asked, worriedly. "Did you have a vision?"

"I have to go." He leaned into her to kiss her lips and cradled her beautiful face between his hands. "I'm sorry I brought you here, but I can never be sorry about Iris. She's our miracle."

She gripped his shoulders. "Sam, what are you saying? Why are you telling me this right now?"

"Sometimes we have a choice, and sometimes we don't, but I had a choice to love you. And I did."

She was shaking her head as he pulled back. "What's going on?"

He kissed her forehead so she couldn't see the lie in his eyes. "I don't know. Something's happening, and I couldn't let that stay unspoken. Not today."

Kissing the baby's cheek again, he pulled away from them both, blinking back the threatening heat. "I'll be back as soon as I can," he said. Then, trailing his fingers for one last touch of Iris' tiny foot, he escaped the cell.

He made it out of the brig before he slumped into the bulkhead, forehead against his arm, taking ragged breaths.

_I'm one of the Five. I'm a Cylon. I leave death in my wake, everywhere I go - from Kobol to the Colonies. That's the sin I carry, the dark stain I have to pay for. So I have to leave them behind. But when I do this, please, God, and Lords of Kobol, I ask in exchange that you protect Thea and Iris. Give me that much at least, that my baby girl will live to see Earth._

Though he didn't receive any answer, he lifted his head and wiped his eyes and nose with the back of his hand. Taking a deep breath, he pushed away from the wall. He felt centered and calm. Whatever would happen, would happen.

It was time to take Leoben's advice and stop fighting the stream. He was nothing but a leaf; it was time to let the currents take him where they will.

* * *

In the Viper, Sam looked at the gas giant as it grew bigger and bigger, filling his canopy until it was all he could see, bands of storms circling the planet, fierce winds that would tear any ship apart.

His hands tightened on the sticks, wondering how he would know. Maybe he was already supposed to know enough and he should just… do it.

His chest felt as if icy bands were clamping his ribs and he couldn't quite draw breath. He saw Iris' little face and her big blue eyes in his memory and felt nauseous. He couldn't do this. He couldn't leave her.

But what else was there? Was there a choice? He'd seen the Viper in the storm, he knew it would happen. He knew it meant death. If he avoided it, what worse fate would fall?

Maybe he would resurrect. He'd seen a resurrection tub on the baseship. It had looked… strange… but as far as alternatives went, waking up in a bathtub of what looked like milk was better than not waking up at all.

But the messenger who looked like Kara had said he had to accept his fate. If he had to die, then so be it. It had been a miracle that his Raider had come to him, like Cerberus in the depth of hell, to save him in the first place. Time to repay that miracle.

He swallowed and clicked the wireless to lie: "Starbuck, Oracle. I'm getting a strange ghost on sensors at 134 carom 38. Going to check it out." Before he'd finished he turned the ship and headed into the planet.

"_With you, Oracle_." She answered and turned to join him.

"Negative," he told her. "It's probably nothing."

"_Probably. But just in case. Dradis is squat in this soup anyway_."

She followed him. Crap, he shouldn't have said anything. He kicked in the turbos, rocketing away from her Viper and heading into the top level of the atmosphere. Immediately he had to tighten his hand on the controls as the ship was buffeted by the winds.

"_Oracle, what the hell_?"

Deeper. He had to go deeper and lose her.

"I see it," he lied. "I see it."

"_What do you see_?" Kara demanded. "_Oracle, report_."

And somehow, she was there, on his wing, so close he could see her helmet. He hadn't shaken her from his tail at all.

"Kara, go back," he ordered and he angled the ship down again, deeper, and the gravity strengthened, pulling him down. The warning for approaching hard deck was shrill in his ears, louder than even the sound of the ship in the wind.

"_What the frak are you doing? Oracle, pull up! There's nothing here_!"

"No. You're wrong. There's a storm here," he answered. "It's a storm I've seen before."

And he reached out and flicked off the main engines. He took his hands of the stick, letting the wind sweep him into the current, pulling him into the swirl and downward.

Her voice edging into worry and anger, she yelled at him, "_Oracle, restart! Sam, what the hell are you doing? Are you crazy_?"

"I lied, Kara," he admitted. "I saw this in the Temple of Five; I always knew what it meant. I'm sorry."

"_What? No, no, you're not doing this, I won't let you_," she said frantically, and maneuvered closer to him, pushing her way through the grip of the storm by sheer dogged determination. "_You can't give up_."

"Actually, I have to," he answered. "That's… kind of the point, I think." There was a horrific screech of metal and the ship shuddered. The display informed him he was losing one of his engines - it was getting torn off. "Go, Kara. You have to get out of here."

"_No, I won't let this happen, Sam, I won't_," she insisted and maneuvered closer to him. "_You know the future's not fixed. You can change it_."

"Not this time."

"_You can't do_ -" she interrupted herself with a cry of surprise. "_Frak_!"

That stirred him from his determination with sudden concern. "Kara!"

"_You lost your port engine, and it hit my bird_," she reported.

"Are you okay? Where are you?" He looked around for her wildly, finding her beneath him, very close. Suddenly his ship bumped as she hit it. "What the frak?" he demanded, hands flying to the stick. She was trying to forcibly lift his ship upward. "Kara, stop it! You can't fight it!"

"_Yes, I can_," she answered through gritted teeth. "_See, the thing is, that's what I do. And I won't let that little girl grow up without a father, just because you're desperate to martyr yourself_."

"That's not what-" He could feel the ship shaking, locked together as she shoved his Viper away from the hard deck. "You can't do this, Kara, you'll kill us both! Stop it!"

"_I am doing it, so shut up_," she ordered. His left hand went to the restart button, so he could pull the Viper away. She said, over the crackling wireless, "_And don't even think about restarting, because that's right in my face and my canopy's cracked_."

"Damn it, Kara!"

"_I didn't save you from the toasters, but by the gods, I will not let you die here_."

"KARA!"

Then with a last bump, her Viper shoved his upward again, so he saw stars above and swirling gases below. A minute brush of the stick and the Viper twirled to see Kara's framed by a swirling of gases, colors, and lightning.

Exactly as he had seen it before.

She murmured in a dreamy, lost voice, "_Mama, is that you_?"

"Kara!" he shouted. "You have to pull up!"

"_I see it now. This is what he was talking about_," she said and her voice was strangely calm. "_This isn't for you, Sam. It's mine. It's always been mine_."

Her ship was getting smaller, pulled down and sucked in until he couldn't see it anymore. He punched at the controls to restart the main thrusters, but nothing happened. "No, Kara-"

"_You aren't the only one with a destiny, you know_," she answered. "_I understand that now_."

He punched at the restart again, frantically, and the engines sputtered back to life. "Come on, come on, don't do this- You don't understand, Kara, this isn't what you think - "

The mists parted for a moment to see her Viper, far away but gleaming brightly as if it were a distant sun itself.

"_I'll see you on the other side, Sam. I'm not afraid anymore_."

There was a flash of brilliant white light and then an expanding cloud of debris and fire.

For a moment he stared, shock filling him then yelled, "No! No! Kara!"

And he pointed his ship to go down with her.

Light flashed, blinding, and for a moment he thought his ship had exploded, too. But he was standing in the Hybrid's chamber, facing her. She was sitting there, long dark hair down her back wearing her blue dress, and dangling her feet in the empty tub.

She looked straight at him and repeated words she'd told him before: "Do not follow her."

"I have to - I have to open the way - don't I?"

Her voice hardened in dire warning. "This is not your path. You have lost the path and if you follow her, all your children will be lost in the dark."

Light filled his vision again.

He blinked and was back in the Viper. Looking down, he let out a frustrated scream of rage and anguish, but pulled back on the stick to climb, and he left her behind.

* * *

"She's dead because of you!" Lee exclaimed, advancing on Sam. "You made her come rescue your crazy ass and now she's gone. You son of a bitch, you're not worth it!"

He swung and Sam closed his eyes. The blow fell on his cheek and side of his head, snapping his head back as his face exploded into pain. He staggered into the bulkhead.

But the pain started to fade, and it wasn't enough. He shook his head once and taunted, "That all you got, Adama? And here I thought you cared."

"Shut up, you toaster frakker, it should've been you!" His fist buried in Sam's stomach and the other hit him in the face again. "It should've been you!"

Sam didn't raise a hand to defend himself. Coughing, he bent to catch his breath, but he managed to look up and say, with blood in his mouth, "Yeah, it was never you, was it?"

Lee's blue eyes went incandescent with rage and he lifted a fist to hit Sam again.

"Lee! No!" Dee shouted from down the corridor and rushed toward them. Lee froze, jaw clenching as he glared at Sam. She grabbed his wrist. "Stop it!"

Suddenly the ship seemed to tilt beneath him and he fell against the bulkhead, dizzy. "You're right," he told Lee hoarsely. "It should've been me." He sagged to the floor, feeling the blood trickle from his lip, his face felt on fire, and his stomach ached. But none of it mattered.

He rested his head against the cold steel of the bulkhead and shut his eyes. Hopefully this would be a nightmare and he would wake up.

"Dee, take Apollo out of here," Barolay's familiar voice snapped. Then more softly from beside him, "Oh for frak's sake," she murmured. "Were you really going to stand there and let him beat you?"

"It's my fault," he whispered. "She saved me. She wasn't supposed to save me."

"You're both so gods-damned reckless," Jean said and her voice caught. "Come on, get up."

Sam opened his eyes and seized her shoulder. "I can't do it myself, but you can, Jean. You can fix this. All I have to do is surrender and you can kill me, it'll all be over..."

Her hand slapped over his mouth, stopping his words, and she shook her head, distressed. "No. I'm not doing anything of the kind. And neither are you," she ordered him firmly. "Kara wouldn't want that, Sam."

The pain welled up at that, sharper than any pain of his injuries and he caught his breath. "Oh god, I killed her. Kara's dead and I loved her and I killed her."

Jean's arm went around him and pulled him into her body. "Hush," she murmured into his hair. "It was just an accident, just a tragic terrible accident. It's not your fault."

But the words were no comfort, and Sam didn't think there ever would be.

* * *

When he went in to Thea's cell, he found Leoben in there, too. Thea was holding Iris, and the look in her eyes was cold and angry.

"You knew," she spat furiously. "You were leaving us."

The accusation hit him, sharp because it was true. "I had to," he answered. "It was supposed to be me."

"No," Leoben denied firmly. "It was never you. It was always Kara."

He shook his head. "That's can't be. I saw the Viper in the storm - I -" His stomach sank like a cold stone, getting harder and colder as it fell. "Oh God. I saw her on Earth. It was Earth, she was supposed to lead us to Earth, and I ruined it."

"Sam, come here," Thea urged him, now soft and understanding.

"No," he shook his head and backed away, into the shut door. "I killed Cally and Nicky. I killed Kara." And the truth hit him as he hadn't really understood before. "I kill whole worlds," he whispered, remembering the war-shattered city of Kobol. "Because of me."

Leoben caught him under the arms as his knees folded and brought him to the cot.

"You are a miracle of God," Leoben told him without evasion or doubt. "This was all meant to be. Kara followed her destiny."

"To die in a storm on a planet that doesn't even get a name?" Sam demanded in sudden fury. "She was there because of me. Her destiny was Earth -"

"No," Leoben insisted. "She saw those circles as a child, long before she met you. This was meant to be, and you could not take it from her."

"But why?" Sam asked, imploring him to make it all make sense.

Leoben's hand gripped his shoulder. "You, of all people, understand death isn't the end of anything, Sam."

And he wanted to believe it so badly... wanted to believe Kara wasn't really gone... But while he knew there was rebirth in the next circle, that wasn't enough. That didn't take away the loss.

"Here, hold her." Thea put Iris in his arms and he took her automatically, her tiny weight feeling like a feather across his palms. "She needs you, Sam. She needs you to be strong and to go on. I can't protect her alone."

He lifted Iris up and the baby waved her fists in futile baby punches. Her bright eyes looked into his, filled with an innocent joy, unaware of anything besides her daddy come to visit.

Kara was dead, but she had died for this. He had to make sure it wasn't for nothing.

He put his lips on her soft baby hair and let the tears fall.


	5. Chapter 5

Happy New Year!

* * *

The sky was so amazingly blue. There were some small white clouds. A bird.

Kara looked upward, watching the bird and the deep blue sky, feeling warm and unwilling to move for a long time.

After a little while, she realized she felt grass beneath her fingers and when she moved her hands, there was dirt as well, grainy and moist. The scent of growing things touched her nose and she felt a breeze on her right cheek, stirring her hair.

She was lying on the ground, on her back.

Sitting up, she saw she was wearing her colonial tanks and BDU pants and boots and she frowned at them, sensing that wasn't right, for some reason. Why did she think she should be wearing something else?

She was in a field of grass and small flowers, with a scattering of large leafy trees. There was a sun above the trees, bright and yellow. It was all very beautiful.

It wasn't until she was on her feet and looked in the opposite direction of the sun, that she saw high towers, made of glass and metal, glinting in the sunlight. The sight of the city was a sudden reminder:

_Her Viper. The storm. Sam's voice yelling over the wireless. Her mother's death. Accepting her own fear and letting it pass from her. Bright flash of light filling her vision._

"Where the hell am I?" she wondered aloud. "Is this Elysium?"

"No," a voice answered behind her. She turned to see "Leoben", the same one from her vision standing before her, watching her with those deep eyes. "The doors to Elysium stand shut," he added. "No one, not even you, can cross the threshold yet."

"But I'm dead."

He hesitated and gave a hint of a smile. "Not exactly."

She opened her mouth to ask what the hell that meant, but then snapped it shut. "Fine. If we're not in Elysium, where are we?"

Surprisingly he answered, "Earth."

"Earth?" This was Earth? She turned around again, slowly, the wild area to one side and the city in the distance. There were both birds and planes in the blue sky overhead. "The home of the Thirteenth Tribe," she murmured and ran her fingers through the tall grass with delighted awe. "It's real." Then she turned to look at Leoben. "How did I get here?"

"You brought yourself," he answered.

Realizing that tack wasn't going to get her any useful answers, she asked instead, "Why am I here?"

"Because it already happened."

She glared at him and thought about punching him in the face. "You enjoy frakking with people, don't you?"

His smile widened, but he didn't deny it. "Come. This way."

She followed him, heading for the city. Each step seemed to take them much closer than it should, until she stopped on the outskirts, where the houses were closer together. "How?"

"A form of projection," he answered.

"So this is all in my head?" she asked, not surprised.

"The surroundings are real; the projection is you."

She frowned, trying to figure that out. She could touch the grass, so she wasn't a ghost.

He ignored her incomprehension. "This way,"

Inside the city, which reminded her of any city on Caprica, with its homes and apartments, ground level shops, and vehicles that seemed different but similar. She couldn't read the signs, at first, until she thought back to the oldest scriptures, and realized it was a form of Kobolian.

The city seemed quiet, but she passed a school where there were children playing, and grandparents pushing babies in prams. Not one gave her a second look, even though her clothing wasn't like theirs. At first she was glad, since she didn't want to run into trouble, but then it started to feel very strange that no one looked at her at all.

Fed up with being completely ignored, she stood right in front of a business woman walking with a determined stride, "Excuse me-"

The woman walked right through her.

Kara gasped and turned to see the woman continue on her way as if nothing had happened. Leoben was watching her, glint of amusement on his face. "None of them can see us. We exist on a different level than they do."

"Because I'm dead?"

"Because you're more," he said, and started off again.

"So if no one can see me, what are we doing?"

"There's something you must see."

"This is so weird," she grumbled. Kara started to smell the sea in the air and noticed the buildings turning older and more ornate, as they moved into what seemed to be the city center.

Abruptly the buildings gave way to an embarcadero along a large body of water, either a large river or a bay. On the other side were the tall buildings she'd seen before, and now she could see an old-looking suspension bridge spanning the two.

They ambled along the waterside path and Kara enjoyed the feel of real sunlight on her skin - it was soft and golden, compared to the harsher light of the algae planet.

Curiously she began to hear the sounds of a crowd chanting something.

Closer, she heard the words more distinctly, as someone shouted, 'What do we want?"

And the small crowd roared back, "Peace now!"

The crowd turned out to be about a hundred strong, gathered in front of what looked like a temple. There was a woman dressed as a priestess or a sister on the top steps, and she was the one leading the calling. "What do we want?"

"Peace now!"

"Are they at war?" Kara asked Leoben.

"For the past four years, more if you count that as a mere truce."

But she didn't ask any more as she took an involuntary step forward as her eye fell on the man to the left of the priestess, leading the response. He was carrying a guitar, and he looked a lot like Sam.

She pushed closer to see, not even noticing when she walked through people, because the closer she got, the more it looked like him.

It _was_ him.

It wasn't her Sam of today, worn down by prophecy and war, but a younger version from his playing days, with the same short, spiky dark hair and enthusiastic blue eyes.

The priestess raised her hands to silence the crowd. "And now we will sing the song Sam wrote for us and carry it to the rest of our lives, that this war must not continue. It is an abomination of the gods, and we call for peace! The world must change before it's too late."

The crowd cheered, and the priestess gestured, "Sam. Please."

Kara stared. His name was Sam, too? "He looks exactly like Sam," she murmured to Leoben.

"He is."

"But, this is Earth. How is this possible?"

"The Samuel T Anders you know is only a part of who he is and was," Leoben answered.

Sam stood to stand beside the priestess and started to play his guitar. It took a moment for the crowd to settle, but when they did, a hush fell over them, and he began to sing in a warm baritone voice.

"...And don't speak too soon, for the wheel's still in spin. And there's no telling who that it's naming, for the loser now will be later to win..."

As he sang and the crowd sang with him, he looked out, and then he looked right at her.

Reflexively, she looked behind her to see if he was seeing someone else, but there was no one else there. When she turned back, he was still looking at her, now with an amused smile.

Then his attention was pulled away by the song, to finish it, "And the times they are a 'changing..."

The chorus repeated, as a prayer for change and peace until the priestess raised a hand. "All of you, go in peace."

The crowd began to break up, people moving away. Kara stayed where she was, watching Sam. Then, she realized what it must be. Sam had told her about remembering dying before. "This is his previous life, right? But it's uncanny how he looks the same..."

"All this has happened before..." Leoben said, and trailed off with a smile as she glared at him.

Then she looked at Sam some more, wondering. Sam - on Earth. He'd looked at her. "He can see me."

Leoben shrugged. 'You want him to."

She moved closer, watching as Sam hugged the priestess and moved to the edge of the steps where he'd left his guitar case.

Without turning, he seemed to know Kara was approaching, saying, "I have to get back to work. Sorry." Then he glanced up. "I haven't seen you at a rally before. Are you new to the cause or an ISA spy?"

"A spy?" she repeated with a smile. "No, I'm not a spy."

It was strange - he was Sam, but he didn't know her. He was playing guitar, had joined a peace rally, and had some kind of job that obviously had nothing to do with sports. So he wasn't exactly Sam either.

He smiled in an exact copy of her Sam's flirty smile. "Good. Glad to hear it. So what do you do?"

"I'm a ... pilot," she answered, leaving it vague since she had the suspicion he wouldn't approve of a combat pilot. "You? What do you do when you're not at peace protests?"

He raised his head to look toward a tall building not far away. "I work there. Dominion Systems. Research."

"Research?" she repeated incredulously. Sam was no dummy, but she'd never have pegged him as a scientist or engineer of any kind. "Really?"

He stood up, guitar case in hand, and mistook her surprise, telling her stiffly, "Yes. I know they're a military contractor, but I work in non-weapon areas. Now excuse me, I have to get back."

"Sure. Bye." She watched him walk away, thoughtful and curious.

"What he didn't tell you," Leoben murmured at her side, and she started, having forgotten he was there, "is that his non-weapons work is in fact a devastating weapon."

"What work? What does he research?"

"Come. We'll follow him, and you'll see."

They ended up at the top floor of the Dominion Systems building. Some time seemed to have passed: Sam was now wearing a sportcoat, waiting with his arms folded, staring at the wall in a sullen irritated mood.

Kara stayed behind him, and then Leoben took her hand. She pulled away sharply, but he explained, "Let me hide your presence," he requested. "We should listen."

"Well. Okay." She let him take her hand, as the secretary called Sam to go in.

Before Kara could blink, Leoben brought her inside a large, spacious office. The opposite wall was all glass with a view of the bay, bridge, and city on the other side. There was a big desk in front of the window - there to be impressive - and a big chair turned away, so the occupant could look out.

The chair turned around and she saw the face of the Cylon Cavil.

She flinched, expecting him to see them, but he had eyes only for Sam. It was actively creepy to see the Cavil model sitting there, facing Sam.

He glared in sour disapproval at Sam. "I pay you to work, Doctor Anders. Not attend peace rallies at the temple."

"I was on my lunch break. Sir," Sam said with formal cold politeness. Kara wanted to laugh - Sam hated this guy who looked like Cavil. Some things never changed.

"Still, don't you think it looks bad that one of my top scientists is part of an effort to undermine his own company?"

Stunned by the words, she looked from Sam to Cavil and back. 'Top scientists'? Really?

"If a desire for peace undermines the company, then it's in the wrong business," Sam retorted.

"Oh, don't climb up your moral mountain, son. You knew perfectly well when you accepted the offer you'd be taking a paycheck from a defense contractor. But the chance to work on AI with my daughter was more than you could resist, wasn't it? So where were all your high-minded principles then?"

Sam flinched a little and stiffened his back. "AI is not supporting the war. We're a basic research-"

"To make our robots into more efficient, better killing machines," Cavil interrupted. "And sure, it'd be nice if they'd also help little old ladies cross the street, but what we want is for our centurions to become autonomous. If there's going to be a war, shouldn't it be with machines that don't die, instead of people?" Cavil asked. "I'd think you'd be all for it."

"The war is unnecessary and has led to the deaths of thousands of people," Sam started, furiously, "For nothing!"

"They attacked us first."

"That's what they say."

"Ah, yes, you would know, wouldn't you?" Cavil asked, his voice suddenly silky. "You were born in Piscia, weren't you? I have a Piscian ex-patriate in my staff, agitating for an end to the war. I wonder what ISA would think of that?"

"What? I'm not loyal to them! I hate them, too!"

Kara could tell by the abrupt silence that Sam's angry outburst had gone a step too far.

"You 'hate them, too'?" Cavil repeated and smiled like a shark. "Go back to work, Doctor. Make me a smarter robot. And stop attending peace rallies that make us look bad. Or you won't have to worry about getting fired, because you'll be in ISA interrogation. Am I clear?"

"You can't-" Sam objected, weakly, and it was obvious he knew that Cavil could.

"Am I clear?" Cavil demanded, cold and implacable.

Sam hesitated, swallowed and pressed his lips together as if he fighting the urge to vomit, and then spat out, "Yes, sir."

"I'm glad we had this conversation, then. You're dismissed."

Sam turned to go to the door - his back and jaw was stiff, but the rest of his face furious. He slammed the door behind him.

Cavil chuckled to himself smugly, then picked up the phone. Kara glared at him, wishing she could laser him with her eyes and then spun around, heading right through the wall.

She stopped in the middle of the empty conference room on the other side and confronted Leoben. "So, 'all this happened before' right? That's what you're going to say? That talk about robots and AI - it sounds like how the first Cylon War started."

"Yes."

"And Sam - this Sam - is right in the middle of it, as some kind of scientist. And that guy who looks like a toaster in the Colonies is his boss, and threatening him with, what, jail? Torture? What kind of frakked up place is this?"

"Earth was never the sacred refuge the Colonies believed it to be," he answered.

"Then why the hell send us there?"

"There is no other path. The circle must close before it can be broken."

She realized she was spending way too long in this place when that made sense. She let out an aggravated groan and shook her head. "You're annoying as frak, you know that?"

His smile was knowing, and made her even more irritated. She stomped off, heading through the wall to find Sam again. This business of being a sort of ghost was convenient for getting places in a hurry. It still didn't make sense that she could lean against the same thing that she could pass through ten minutes later, but then again she was dead, so this was probably all in her head anyway.

The thought niggling at her pushed its way up when she passed a window with a view of the city across the water, and for a moment it looked so much like the skyscrapers of Caprica City it hurt. This place could be a ruin, too, if the Cylons nuked it, as they had Caprica City.

No, it would be a ruin. There was no 'could be' about it. And Sam... she already knew this was a past life for him. He was going to die. She remembered what he'd said about remembering being killed in the temple on the algae planet, and the way his eyes, normally so bright, had looked so dark and lost in the memory.

Then she stopped and faced Leoben again. "Shouldn't he remember me? If I'm really back in time to his past, he should remember me, same as he does the Temple of Five. That was a past life, too."

Leoben's gaze flickered away and he answered, looking out at the sun-touched skyline. "He will remember nothing of Earth until he steps on its surface again. He knows too much already." And he glared at her, as if it was her fault. Then he held out a hand. "There's more you should see."

Reluctant to learn more, she nonetheless put her hand in his and let him lead the way.

Sam was in what seemed to be his office, a small and messy room, and he stripped off his jacket, hurling it into his chair. "Bastard," he muttered. Kara was about to let go of Leoben's hand and approach him, when a female voice interrupted.

"Hey, how'd it go?"

Kara turned to see president Roslin's aide Tory Foster in the doorway. It was bizarre to see her there, smiling at Sam. Tory Foster was here, too? She wasn't dressed that differently from woman Kara had met, in slacks and a short-sleeved blouse.

Sam snorted with sour humor. "At least he didn't fire me."

"He can't fire you," Tory reassured him and came into the room, and there was a flirty curve to her lips that made Kara want to hit her. "We need you." Her hand stroked down his arm lightly. "Here, not in jail. I know you feel strongly about the war, but if the project is successful we'll be saving lives."

He jerked away. "That's if any of us can crack it. Maybe it's impossible."

She folded her arms. "Our ancestors did it. We know it's possible. And we're so close, I can feel it. Come spend time in lab Beta with us, it'll make you feel better. We brought fruit cake," she told him cheerfully and left.

Thinking he was alone, Sam's smile abruptly vanished and he lifted a hand to rub the bridge of his nose. "Frak." But he let out a sigh, got a familiar look of determination on his face, picked up a flat rectangular tablet and left the room.

Kara started to follow when her gaze happened to catch the line of pictures on the shelf beside the door and she stopped, stunned by one of them. It was a photo of Sam taken outside, by the water. He had that guitar and to either side were Tory, Galen Tyrol, and both Ellen and Saul Tigh. All five had their arms around each other and they were grinning at the camera in genuine camaraderie.

Something in the picture made Kara's stomach tighten with apprehension. They looked the same as the people Kara knew - not just Sam or Tory, but Galen and Saul and Ellen, too. It was a little strange, since she didn't think her Sam knew the other four well. He'd known the Tighs the best, before they'd left for New Caprica, but hardly Tyrol or Tory at all, and he hadn't spent time around them since his return from the Cylons that she knew of. He certainly wasn't close friends with any of them.

Yet in this photo they all seemed like they belonged together.

"They were so passionate," Leoben said, peering over her shoulder at the image. He sounded sort of admiring, but also sad. "And so arrogant that they knew best."

"They're all scientists, then?" she asked. "They work here? That's so bizarre... " The only one she could really see as a scientist was Tyrol. But Sam, the pyramid player? The Tighs? The colonel was so Fleet, she couldn't imagine him not military, and Ellen rarely seemed to think about anything serious.

"They are so much more than they knew." His finger slowly slid down the photo, and his face for a moment seemed terribly sad. "They brought it on themselves, I know, and yet ... I wish for them to be whole again." He turned to Kara. "But that won't happen until they learn some things are forbidden for a reason."

She chuckled. "You know you're talking to the wrong girl if you want me to convince Sam to obey the rules, right?"

He smiled and added dryly, "I have noticed. Come, it's time for you to learn what Sam's rule-breaking is leading him into now."

* * *

Strangely, by the time they caught up to Sam it was after sunset. He was leaving the building, wearing a coat and still carrying his guitar case. Kara wanted to approach him, but hung back as he crossed the plaza, walked down the embarcadero and headed straight to the temple.

At a side gate, he stopped, looked around furtively, and slipped inside.

Kara chuckled. "What is this? A spy movie?"

She and Leoben followed, entering a side garden where the same priestess was clipping some flowers.

"Samuel? What brings you back so soon?" she asked worriedly.

"I have bad news," he murmured. "I have to stop coming to the rallies. I got called to the CEO after lunch today, and ordered to stop." She nodded, unsurprised, but disappointed. He stepped closer to her and dropped his voice, "I'll continue the work from inside. But I can't come to the meetings anymore without ISA breathing down my neck."

"I understand," the priestess. "Do what you can, and go with Aurora's grace, Samuel. We believe in you. Together we will bring an end to this war."

She kissed his cheek and he slipped out the gate, leaving the priestess alone in the garden with her flowers.

Kara moved to the corner, to watch a small fountain burbling quietly over some stones and thought about what he'd said to the priestess. "Oh gods," Kara realized. "He's sabotaging the AI project, isn't he?"

"Once a rebel, always a rebel," Leoben shook his head in disapproval. "It's no wonder you two found each other."

"I'm not a rebel," she retorted, affronted. He just looked at her. Then, considering the truth, she gave a shrug and added, "Mostly."

Turning away she thought about Sam and decided she needed to find him. It was becoming easier to navigate now- thinking about him brought her to the street, not far behind him. She followed behind as he hesitated, went down an alley, down some steps into a basement, and through the doors of what turned out to be a bar.

It wasn't a nice bar either, like she would've expected. But people seemed to know him, nodding to him in greeting, and the bartender brought him a glass full of something without an order. Sam sat on the end stool and had his feet resting on his guitar case, hunched over his tumbler in a distinct attitude of 'go away.'

She slid onto the stool next to him, and without looking at her, his mouth curved in a sardonic smile. "Great. The ISA girl. My day's complete."

"I'm not ISA," she told him. "I don't even know what that is, actually, other than it sounds like it sucks."

His eyes flaring with alarm before he turned to shush her, were all she needed to know about it. "Don't say that!"

She opened her mouth to tell him that he was the only one in the bar who could see her, but then he turned back to his drink. "Not that it matters. You can be ISA, or not, but I'm not going back to the rally. So if that's your interest, talk to someone else."

"You're my interest," she told him honestly. "Not the rally. I ... well, you remind me of someone. This guy I knew, all passion and fire and gods-dammed stubbornness. Refused to lay down and die when our enemies had him surrounded."

His hand tightened on his glass, but he didn't look at her. "And?"

"And... somehow he got some of them on his side and he brought her home. Now they have a kid." She added silently to herself, watching his profile, 'But here you are again and there aren't any Cylons to take you away this time.'

Sam chuckled hollowly. "If only it was that easy here." He swirled his drink in the ice and drained it.

The bartender came closer and Sam said, "Another, and one for my friend."

The bartender glanced in Kara's direction, following Sam's vague gesture at the stool next to him. She smiled brightly, but the bartender didn't see her, frowning and he shrugged. "Sure, Anders. But take it easy - curfew's early tonight."

"Sure, Charlie. Wouldn't want to get picked up by ISA, would I?" He asked, looking right at Kara.

She narrowed her eyes at him, glaring, "Now you're being a pain in the ass."

"You're the one stalking me."

"Has nobody ever told you you're not bad looking?" she retorted. "Do I need more reasons than that?" She laid her hand on his forearm, and flinched at the warm tingle that passed through her.

His gaze snapped to meet hers and he didn't move away. After a hesitation of looking into her eyes, he answered slowly, "No." He let go of his glass and covered her hand, fingers sliding over hers as if searching for the moment she'd pull away.

But Kara had no intention of pulling away. This was her Sam, some crazy previous cycle version, who was different and yet strangely exactly the same - and hers wasn't hers anymore anyway. She didn't really give a frak about any of that right now, not when he was touching her. She wanted so much to sit on the edge of the bar, wrap her legs around him and kiss him until all this strangeness went away.

"Do I know you?" he murmured, bending his head closer to her and still looking into her eyes. "I feel like I should know you."

"You do," she confirmed, wrapping her free hand up his shoulder and the back of his neck. "You will. I've known you so long, Sam."

His gaze flickered with puzzlement but he leaned in to kiss her anyway. The case slipped out from under his foot and he tumbled off the stool, landing hard on the floor. "Ow. Frak."

The bartender peered over the bar. "Anders? You okay?"

"Are you hurt?" she asked.

"I'm okay," he answered shortly as he sat up, wincing as he tested his elbow gingerly.

She was going to salute his clumsiness with the drink the bartender brought, but her fingers passed through her glass. "Oh come on!" she muttered irritably. "I can sit on a stool but I can't drink? What kind of frakked up rule is that?"

He grabbed his stool to pull himself back to his feet. "What did you say? I didn't catch it?"

"I said it's too bad you don't play sports with coordination and grace like that," she teased.

"I played triad in upper school. Regional champs," he said and downed his shot.

"Triad?" she laughed at the thought of triad as a sport. "Really?"

"I was pretty good," he retorted defensively. "I had 80 percent from the line, and Central offered me a free ride to come play. But I didn't want to spend all my time playing ball, when there were more fun things to do."

She frowned. So 'triad' was some kind of ball game here, not a card game. That was almost weirder than finding out he was a scientist.

Sam cocked his head when he noticed her glass was sitting there untouched. "You're not gonna drink that?" he asked her.

"No, apparently not." She made a pout at the drink. The gods were nothing but a cruel tease.

"Then I will. I've had a hell of a day." He drained hers and then fumbled in his pocket for a small square of plastic, which he laid on the bar. "There. Now, I'm going home. You wanna come?" he invited her casually, as if she was just some random bar hookup. Which she was, to him, which meant she had to make herself more.

"I think I'd better, if you're always this clumsy. You'd probably fall down and break your neck."

"Think you're funny, don't you," he retorted. "I'm fine." He promptly stumbled into a chair as he grabbed his guitar case. She laughed, and was glad to see his irritation dissolve into a rueful smile. He nearly hit the doorframe on the way out, except she jerked him out of the way.

"Gods, you always need a keeper," she muttered and put her arm around his waist. It felt so ... familiar and welcome, and she couldn't help nudging him with her hip like she used to when they'd prowled around the empty ship looking for new places to make their own.

He must have felt some of it, too, or at least known he couldn't walk straight without her help, since he left her arm there and stretched his own across her shoulders. He carried the guitar in his other hand and they walked together through the evening. At the door of his apartment building, he opened it with the touchpad and ushered her inside the high vestibule. They crossed the tile floor to the elevator and up to the sixth floor.

"Sorry, my place is a bit of a mess," he confessed, as the doors slid aside. "I'm here mostly only to sleep."

Since she remembered how Sam had managed to leave his crap lying around in their room on Galactica, despite having so little, she wasn't surprised to see the pile of laundry on the arm chair or the desk strewn with books, computer tablets, papers and an artistic stack of beer bottles. It was surprising to see the computer system taking up one entire corner, though. There were two large screens, sitting on a smooth shiny desk surface, and blinking equipment underneath.

There was also another guitar and an amp on stands next to the computer, and he put the case down next to them.

"You uh, want a drink?" he asked.

Instead of dealing with the possibility that she might not be able to touch that glass either, she moved right up into him. "Not really. I'm interested in what you've got, Anders."

His lips tasted of fruity ambrosia, and the feel of his rough upper lip against her lips was a welcome burn, as she wrapped her arms up his back and stood on her toes to feel his strength all against her. She kissed him every time she considered blurting out anything stupid like how much she'd missed him and how a quick frak in the closet hadn't been enough. His mouth hadn't changed at all - pulling at her so she felt it deep down inside, urging more. His hands moved eagerly on her waist, skimming her sides.

She undressed him with quick fingers, taking advantage of his alcohol slowed reflexes, and pushed him back into his unmade bed. He looked up at her, amused and aroused by her aggression, and his low chuckle curled the heat low in her belly. "Used to getting your own way, aren't you?"

"You know it." She pulled her tanks and bra off, and smirked as his eyes dropped to her bare breasts and stayed glued there. Then she crawled up his body and used her knowledge of what he liked mercilessly, until he was groaning and tried to flip her over. But she laughed and pinned his wrists. "No, baby." she wriggled her hips, rubbing them together until he was biting his lip. "Not yet. Hold out for me."

He did, freeing his hands to run them all over her body, cupping her breasts and her hips and having a long enough arm to get his fingers between her legs. But she didn't let him finger her too long, wanting the rest of him.

And gods, it had been so damn long, and it felt so good to sink down on top of him and frak until the world dissolved into sparks and heat.

She let it fade, riding it out stretched out on his chest, as he panted and clasped her loosely in his arms.

"I ... had a feeling bringing you home would be worth it," he said and dragged a lazy hand up her spine. "You're amazing."

"You're okay."

His chuckle was loud under her ear and he combed his fingers through her hair. "That's a clever ploy to get me to prove otherwise isn't it?"

"Maybe." She lifted her head to grin down at him. "I bet you could do better if you put your mind to it."

He lifted his eyebrows. "You were the one in the hurry."

"So take your time."

Nothing else mattered.


	6. Chapter 6

Kara watched Sam sleep, marveling how he'd sprawled across the bed, clearly unused to sharing it with anyone.

"At least you're mine here," she murmured and let her hand hover above him, not quite touching.

"Not for long," a sudden voice warned, and she flinched with surprise, flipping over to see Leoben in the corner by the door.

"Get the hell out," she hissed.

He didn't go. "You're not here for this."

She got out of bed and stalked naked past him into the bathroom, knowing he would follow. After the door shut, she folded her arms and glared at him. "Since you're not telling me what I _am_ here for, seems to me I get to decide. And if I want to frak Sam, and he wants to frak me, I don't see what business it is of yours. Especially since I'm dead. And by the way, staring at naked people sleeping is really creepy and not helping your case."

He pointed out dryly, "You were staring at him."

"Not the same thing. So why don't you move along to wherever you go and leave us alone?" she demanded.

"You need to do what you came here to do."

"Which is?" she demanded.

"Only you know that."

She let out an aggravated groan. "You don't know, do you? You come in here to bitch at me and you don't even know." She turned away to splash water on her face. "Gods, what a pain in the ass."

"You traveled a very long way to come here, Kara. That is not without a greater purpose."

She patted her face dry and looked at herself and 'Leoben' standing behind her in the reflection. Odd to realize she could walk through this wall if she wanted and yet she also had a reflection. "Maybe I already did my greater purpose. I died, and I kept Sam from dying." She gripped the sink with both hands, remembering. "He was going to do it- he was throwing himself in. But I knew that was wrong. That it was ... supposed to be... me..." Her words trailed to a stop, realizing he was right. "Shit. I haven't done it yet, have I?"

She could see him smiling over her shoulder. He didn't say anything because he didn't have to.

"Well, he's already sabotaging the AI project, so he doesn't need me to stop that. Otherwise, he plays guitar and goes to peace rallies." She shook her head and shrugged. "Doesn't seem like he needs anything from me."

"He specializes in complex programs, but Centurion intelligence is not the only application."

She snorted but took the hint. "I still can't believe my Sam has any science expertise whatsoever. But okay I'll look into it. Now go away and stop spying on us."

He nodded and vanished. Kara moved through the bathroom door, disdaining opening it if she didn't have to, only realizing she should have when she looked at the bed and found Sam awake and watching her.

He shut his eyes and opened them again, as if he thought he was dreaming. "Kara? Did you... just... "

She smiled. "Did I wake you? Sorry. Needed some water."

"But you... you…" he struggled to articulate what he'd seen, and she felt a little sorry for him. He wasn't going to ask her whether she'd just walked through the bathroom door, because it was clearly ridiculous and impossible. Even though he had seen it. He shook his head once and rubbed his eyes. "Never mind."

She slid into bed and passed a hand up the outside of his leg and hip. "Since you're awake..." she suggested playfully and nudged her thigh between his.

"I have to go to work tomorrow," he murmured, but not even his mouth was paying attention to his words, meeting hers then sucking playfully at her neck while his hand slipped down between them.

He was too sleepy to be as vigorous as she usually liked, but there was something peaceful about the slow steady way he rocked into her, and the lazy way he kissed her face with his eyes shut that was especially appealing.

When they both shuddered into easy climax, he wrapped his arm across her securely and kissed her hair.

"You feel so good," He murmured. "There's this electric feeling like our nerves are exchanging information. It's...exhilarating and I've never felt it before with anyone. Like you make my life make sense," he murmured. Then he laughed at himself softly. "I forgot you were a bar hookup. I must still be really drunk. Sorry."

She waited until he was breathing heavily in sleep and she drew her finger in a pattern on his arm. "We fit together."

* * *

Remembering what Leoben had said about Sam's work, she went back while Sam was there, waiting invisibly while he argued with Colonel Tigh. He was not exactly the colonel, as this one seemed a bit younger and was definitely not military, but it was him. At first she found his presence so strange she didn't even listen to what they were actually talking about - amused when Tigh snapped in the same irritated grumpy tone she'd heard many times in the past several years and slammed his way out of the office.

Thinking he was alone, Sam made a face at the door and repeated, "'Data compression rate is too slow...' Yeah, and tell me something I don't know, Professor."

She waited until he rounded his desk to pick up a computer tablet from the wall credenza behind his desk. She asked, "Bad day at the office?"

He whirled around, startled, the computer tablet sliding out of his hand to the desk top. "My gods, how the frak did you get in here?" he demanded, glancing behind her to the door in a near panic. "This is a secure facility, how do you have clearance?" Then his eyes widened and his face fell in realization and betrayal. He took a step back from her, ending up against the credenza behind him. "Shit, you are ISA, aren't you?"

She smiled and shook her head. "I'm not ISA, Sam. It's okay."

"'Okay'?! if you're not ISA, then how the frak are you here?"

She bit her lip, as it came home that she just frakked it up. "Damn it, I played this badly. Now I'm going to have to tell you, and it's so frakking crazy..."

She trailed off, as there was a perfunctory knock on the door before it opened, and Tory poked her head in. "Talking to yourself again? Well, I don't blame you, since I heard Saul from the lab. What the frak did you say to him?" she asked, with a chuckle. "He's pissed."

"I - " he started, eyes darting to Kara and then to Tory, who didn't react to Kara's presence at all. "Do you see anything strange in this room?" he asked her.

Tory laughed. "I see you looking like you finally figured out that provoking the boss' husband and our work partner isn't your best tactic."

That distracted him from the mystery of Kara. "I'm not provoking him!" he exclaimed, irritated. "He wants me to increase the data compression rate, but I've pushed the current algorithm as far as I can, and I can't just pull another out of thin air. It's ridiculous."'

"If it's going to work, the transfer has to be nearly instantaneous. Too long and physical death will halt the process."

"Too short and it'll be full of errors and there's no point in that," he retorted. "But it's not like I have to hurry, since it's not going to matter until the rest of you can figure out how to download. Which is what I told him."

Kara listened and with his words, understood what Leoben had meant about other applications for Sam's expertise. He wasn't only working on AI; a process relating to death and download meant _resurrection_. They were creating resurrection.

Tory shook her head. "Nice. Speaking of, I could use your help in the lab. There's something wonky in the growing chambers cycle program."

"Wonky? glad we have technical terms," he joked then waved a hand. "Be there soon."

Tory shut the door again, and Sam's eyes fell on Kara. For a moment he didn't speak, throat working, and then licked his lips once. "Tory didn't see you."

"No," Kara answered. "No one can see me, except you."

"I'm imagining you? But I... touched you, we frakked," he said, shaking his head in confusion. "How is that possible? Was that all in my head? Are you real?

"I'm real," she reassured him. "But I'm only here for you."

"Why? What are you?"

"I ... well, that's a good question, actually," she admitted. "I ... died. Or at least I think I did, I was in my bird and caught in a storm, and then I woke up in a field. I can walk through walls, and no one but you can see me."

He collapsed into his extra chair, staring at her and shaking his head slowly in astonishment. "I'm frakked in the head," he murmured to himself. "They always warned me direct contact with the data stream might cause brain damage..."

"You may have brain damage," she teased, "But it's not causing me." Sidling around his desk, she put both hands on his knees and leaned down. "I'm real."

"Prove it."

She kissed him, fingers sliding up his thighs with very obvious intent. "You can feel this, can't you?" she whispered against his lips, feeling his muscles jump under her fingers. "You can feel me."

"In my head," he retorted. He clasped her waist, sliding down to tug her hips nearer.

"You're touching my ass like it's real."

"Feels real, but isn't that what madness is?" he returned. "Fantasy that seems real?"

"Always so stubborn, aren't you?" She straddled his legs, her hips teasing him, as her hands clutched at his shoulders as he sucked at her earlobe and down her neck. "I'm real, Sam. I promise. The gods sent me to you for a reason, and I think it may have something to do with resurrection..."

He abruptly pulled back. "Resurrection?" he repeated curiously. "Why does that have anything to do with you?"

"Don't do it," she advised. "It leads... it leads to horrible ends, Sam."

"Horrible? No, no," he shook his head, "You don't understand what it's for. We can save people. We know it's possible - we used to be able to do it, but we lost it along the way."

"Good, let it stay lost."

His hands pushed at her hips, shoving her off his lap, as his face darkened. "You wouldn't say that if you'd seen the horror of this war -"

"You wouldn't say that if you'd seen the horror of a war with machines that don't die!" she returned.

"Machines?" he repeated in blank confusion and corrected her. "Resurrection's not for the Centurions. It's for people."

That was a surprise. "For people? Really? I don't think that's a good idea anyway - " she started, recalling what that Other Leoben had said about death.

His lips curved bitterly. "Then you've never lost anyone you loved. Or you wouldn't say that."

"I've lost people." Her hand rose to her tags and the ring that hung there still.

"Then wouldn't you want them to come back?" he asked. "Why should we lose them, when they don't have to be lost?"

At first she had no answer. If Zak had resurrected to a new body... it was hard to think about now, since resurrection was only for toasters, but what if it applied to everyone? What if humans could return in a new body? Assuming he didn't return weirdly different, of course, she would've wanted him back if it had been possible.

Sam's reason and grief seemed personal, too. "Who did you lose?" she asked.

Instead of answering aloud, he picked up a photo on his desk and held it for her to see. A dark haired teen - Sam at a younger age - stood beside an equally tall young woman, and an older couple, their parents.

She was first amused by how gawky Sam had looked before he'd filled out, but then she gasped when she recognized the blonde with the blue eyes. A model Three. "She's your _sister_?"

He didn't notice or ignored her astonishment. "Deanna," his finger touched the photo gently. "She watched out for me after our parents died. But then Gemon separatists bombed the university café. We were eating lunch. I survived; she didn't." His eyes shone with sadness and dark memories. "I have her DNA, but no brain scans, so even if we recreate resurrection it's too late for her. But I'd give anything to have her back."

He set the photo back on his desk. "I'll never get her back; she's dead. But I can see to it no one else has to suffer that loss and end up alone. If you're in my head, you understand that. If you're something else, then I ask you to try to understand, but it doesn't matter; I won't stop."

"I understand, Sam," she told him. Not that she approved, necessarily, but she understood. Hell, when she'd thought Sam had been killed, it was the only time she'd ever envied Helo his marriage to a Cylon. At least Helo had the chance to get Sharon back.

She watched Sam go, staying behind and looking at the picture some more. One of the Cylon models was Sam's boss; another was his sister... that couldn't be a coincidence.

Maybe she was dreaming all of this. That made more sense than Sam being a Cylon's brother, and working on robots and resurrection on Earth just as they'd done in the Colonies fifty years ago. Then, she let out a snort and muttered, "This has all happened before... damn, I'm starting to really hate that."

She half-expected Leoben's voice so it wasn't startling this time when he said, "So say we all, Kara. That's why we want it to stop. It doesn't have to happen again and again - it's caused by the same arrogant and selfish choices..." He glanced at the picture on the desk and shook his head in pity.

"Selfish? Isn't it the opposite of selfish? He wants to create something for everyone else. He wants to save people. I can't argue with him about resurrection when he's right. We talk about Elysium, but no one knows what it's like or if it's even real -but we know what life is."

He sighed. "Didn't you find out from the Cylons that a life with no end has no shape and no value? How can one value the lives of others if you have none in your own? No, it's selfish, this wish to avoid loss. And it's arrogant to change what was given to mortals."

"It's the arrogance you don't like most, isn't it?" she asked, frowning at him. "But I don't see why you should talk like it's some sort of awful sin, when clearly it's possible, and it keeps happening. The gods aren't stopping it…"

To her surprise he laughed, a little bitterly, and smiled, "Oh, the Lords of Kobol try, Kara. Time and again, we try, but there's only so much we can do. We're all bound by rules; and we don't all agree on the best methods."

"That's why I'm here, isn't it?" she asked. "I'm somebody's idea of a method to get him to stop. Except he's obviously not going to listen."

"No," Leoben agreed sadly. "He has already found the path, I fear. He and the other four of his companions. This fate has already been written."

"Then I'm here for nothing," she said. "If he won't listen, and this is all fated, why am I here?"

He shook his head, looking uncertain. "You brought yourself, Kara. There must be more."

"I'll try again," she offered, but she didn't think it would work. She wasn't sure she _wanted_ it to work, in fact, because giving humans resurrection still sounded like a better idea than not. It sounded like a miracle, if they could pull it off. No one had to die, until they chose to - no more accidents, no more tragic deaths, no more illness; people could have new bodies, they could continue to learn and grow. People could choose their time.

And it didn't have to be for Cylons.

* * *

She left Sam alone, waiting in his place until he returned home and found her in his desk chair pretending to play his guitar.

"You again?"

"You seem pretty unimpressed a messenger of the gods is interested in you personally, Sam."

"Is that what you are?" he asked, and grinned at her. "I thought you were a figment of my imagination."

She rolled her eyes. "You know you saw me walk through the door."

"Which means nothing," he corrected. "In fact a virtual creation of my subconscious should be able to walk through walls and appear only to me."

"But why me?" she asked. "Why would your subconscious need to tell you that what you're doing is dangerous? That there's a worse war coming?"

"Do you think I don't know that?" he retorted. "Of course I do. There's a reason Dominion systems is pushing the AI hard - and I keep trying to resist it. I've frakked over my own program twice, when it gets too close, praying Ellen doesn't see what I've done. Because I know it's dangerous. But lack of AI doesn't stop the governments from using the air drones and the Centurions already, programming them to go out and kill people. They'll get more efficient and more complex, and if not us, someone somewhere will achieve self-awareness. When that happens, we'll have enemies who are completely autonomous, virtually indestructible, and can be duplicated to the limits of resources. That's why resurrection is so important."

She nodded slowly, understanding how trapped he was; blocking AI but knowing worse war was coming, and trying to figure out resurrection to save those he could.

"You're right," she agreed, and glanced around for Leoben, but he wasn't in view shaking his head in disappointment. "You can't do anything else." And not him, not Sam; he was too much of a protector to stand by and watch while others died.

"No, I can't," he agreed. "I wish I could do all this for the pure joy of the research, but I was born about fifty years too late for that."

"Sorry. I wish I could tell you it gets better," she said.

"It's better with you here." He came closer, hand outstretched to try to touch her. Finding she felt solid to his hand, he grinned and pulled her closer, "Angel or figment, I'm glad you're so beautiful. And you have these kissable lips, exactly as I'd want in my fantasy woman…"

She whacked him on the back with her hand, but didn't pull away from his mouth.

* * *

Weeks passed, strangely idyllic -he worked on his two projects, the one he was sabotaging and the one he was actually working to solve. He played his guitar for her and sang, and once in the middle of a song stopped and went to the computer to rewrite the algorithm for compressing someone's entire memories into data that could be uploaded quickly. He was completely incapable of explaining it to her, gesturing excitedly with his eyes shining, until she'd had to jump him to shut him up.

She found out that Saul Tigh - of all people - had invented a method of scanning someone's brain and Tory and Galen had built it. Then, at a meeting of the five scientists in her group, Ellen had triumphantly laid out a sketch of exactly how to make a download work into a fresh, blank clone brain.

Kara draped herself across Sam's shoulders, as they all listened.

"This is it, my fends," she announced and smiled. It was not the flirty grin Kara was accustomed to seeing on Ellen. This Ellen was the most different it seemed. The old Ellen surfaced when she was making out with her husband in their office and trying to grope Sam when she was drunk, but most of the time she was driven and intense.

"We have resurrection. We've done it. And I propose that we test it with ourselves first."

"What?" Tory asked incredulous. "You want _us_ to test it?"

"No one's going to believe we can do it, unless we prove it," Ellen said. "I'm not saying we have to do it right away. We need bodies to grow for one thing; but when we think it's going to work, when we're sure it'll work, one of us will have to go first."

"Me," Sam offered without hesitation. They all looked at him, and Kara's hands tightened on his shoulders making him wince. "The thing is, my part's done. Once we run the alpha tests, we'll know it works. I already have a pattern stored from Saul's earlier tests, anyway, so we don't even need the upload technically. And if anything goes wrong -"

"We'd need your programming expertise," Tory corrected.

"But you four deal with the download part, the actual resurrection into the new body. I'm pretty superfluous when the system is actually running."

"No, no, that isn't a good plan-" Tory objected again.

"Oh, she likes you," Kara murmured in Sam's ear and kissed his neck. He didn't dare move, as her hands slid down his chest. He tensed as her hands kept going - then when it would be hidden by the table, he reached down and held them still. "Spoilsport," she chided and sucked on his earlobe.

Trying to ignore her, he had to clear his throat and said, "Look, I'm on my own. I don't have family left, you guys are the only close friends I have and I know you'll do your best to make it work if something goes wrong. If it has to be one of us, it has to be me."

"This is really a dumb plan," Kara murmured. "You could die with this plan, moron."

"I won't do it unless I believe it'll work," Sam said, in answer to her, but it sufficed as an answer to Tory's reluctance. "But I think it'll work. The science is right, and we know it happened before. We have the Colony and what's left of their resurrection process."

"Which we fixed," Galen said. "I think it's very close to what it was before."

"All we have left to do is figure out how to enable it in our own brains," Ellen added and smiled. "And Saul and I think we found the key. In fact I bet Sam is already enabled, because he's interfaced the most with the data stream."

"She wanted it to be you all along," Kara muttered. "I have a bad feeling about this, Sam. It seems too easy. Resurrection falls into your laps all at once?"

"It's like we're remembering it," Sam murmured. When everyone at the table looked at him, he said, more loudly. "I don't feel like we're inventing it; it's re-inventing it. That's why it's easy."

"Easy?" Galen scoffed. "Speak for yourself."

"No, hon, Sam's right," Tory agreed. "It is re-discovery. We've always known our ancestors had it, and lost it on the journey here. So once we found the _Colony_ it was only a matter of time."

"Lucky it was in Caparica," Saul pointed out. "If the ship had been somewhere else on the planet, someone else would be having this discussion."

"Luck?" Kara murmured to Sam, "No one else would have this discussion. It was always going to be you."

He couldn't help glancing at her, frowning a little.

Ellen noticed. "Sam? You okay?"

Forcing a smile, he said he was fine, just thinking, which Kara took as a personal challenge. "Be very still, baby, or they'll notice," she warned and sucked on his neck, distracting him, as her fingers crept inside his pants.

He jerked his legs, and bit his lip on a gasp. "Stop it," he hissed between his teeth and tried to grab at her hand without looking as if he was having a convulsion.

"You're kidding, right?" she murmured. "You're at my mercy and you have to be still. Some men pay money for this, Sammy. Enjoy it."

"I can't!" he blurted and jumped to his feet, shoving his chair back so hard it skidded across the floor with a screech. The other four stared at him, shocked.

"Excuse me," he blurted raggedly. "I really have to use the washroom."

It was empty when she slid through the wall ahead of him to wait. When he came in he was not surprised to see her, as he put a hand blindly behind him to lock the door. "In the head?" She teased. "We've never done it in here before-"

He rushed forward, grabbing her off her feet and putting her back to the wall. Mouths joined in feverish heat as his hands yanked at her clothes. It reminded her of their illicit frak on _Galactica_, but his skin was unmarred under her fingers and warm.

She was ready for him before he lifted her up, and her hands were tight on his shoulders. "Yes, Sam," she panted. "C'mon, hurry up."

There was a rattling on the door and Tyrol's voice, "Sam? You all right?"

"Go away!" Sam shouted, voice ragged as his fingers went tight on her hips, and he shook as he stopped deep in her.

Kara laughed, tilting her head back as Sam's lips fell to her neck.

Later, they ambled along the embarcadero, sun on their faces. It seemed incredible that there was a war going on, until she noticed the uniformed, armed soldiers guarding certain buildings and the fighter jets that occasionally screamed overhead.

"What if it doesn't work?" Kara asked. "Resurrection?"

"It'll work," he answered confidently and stopped to watch a pair of young twin girls running up to the railing, followed more slowly by their elderly guardian. Which was the moment Kara realized that except for people in important positions like Sam's, she'd seen relatively few people of fighting age walking around. "It has to work. We can't go on this way," he murmured. "Every day the news is worse."

Suddenly Sam stopped and blinked. His face lit with recognition and confusion. "Kara. Are you really here?" he asked in disbelief.

It was the first time he had called her by name as if he recognized her from her time. "Sam? You know me?"

He stared at her, frowning and shaking his head. "This is a dream," he said. "You're dead."

Her heart seemed to skip a beat. He thought she was dead - he _knew_. Oh Gods, he thought she was dead and the grief in his eyes was burning a hole in her. She grabbed his hands. He was here, somehow this was her Sam.

"Sam, it's me," she insisted. "You remember."

But he blinked and frowned and the moment was gone. She didn't understand how it happened, but it had been _her_ Sam there for a moment, looking at her, like a piece of the future. And he thought she was dead.

She clutched his hands as he blinked and the recognition passed from him. "No, Sam, you have to remember, stay with me.."

"What was that?" he asked. "I felt very strange there for a moment." He glanced down at their joined hands. "What happened?"

Disappointed, she let go. "Nothing. Never mind."

He glanced at her, frowning curiously, but didn't pursue it. "Let's go home," he suggested as a squadron of unmanned planes flew overhead. "I was thinking of a new song I want you to hear."

But, like all idylls, this one would not last either.


	7. Chapter 7

note: Kara's trip comes to an end with some truths and revelations.

* * *

.

One evening, in Sam's apartment, they were making out, when a sudden loud beeping sound made him stop. "No, no, no stopping now," she tried to pull his mouth back to hers, "Ignore them."

But it beeped again and he pulled away.

"What is it?" she asked, as he hurried over to the computer terminal.

"That's the alarm I set for a particular keyword combination," he answered absently, sitting in his chair and activating the screen. "Hopefully it's a false alarm."

"For what?"

"The war." A few touches of the flat screen input system and both screens on the desk blinked to life.

At first it was chaotic - one screen was showing some sort of live feed from a place called Evinar, which she eventually gathered was in Piscia. And something terrible had happened there.

The other screen showed a low-quality video on a loop, of a squad of Centurions marching down a street, shooting everything that moved, including the camera operator before the loop began again.

Once they lost the images and all of it clicked over to a blank screen with a governmental seal. "Frakkers, no, they're not blocking this," he muttered and put his hand flat on the table. His face went blank but his eyes moved as if he was seeing something - meanwhile, on one of the screen, raw code streamed like a river.

She watched, stunned and uneasy. It wasn't something she'd seen him do before, but it was pretty clear what he was doing: he was hacking the system mentally ... through a physical interface connecting him to the computer directly. She vaguely knew of similar things in the Colonies, before the first Cylon War, but this felt more _Cylon_.

But then a new video feed, now from a foreign newscast, appeared on the other screen distracting her. Sam lifted his hand away to watch.

All too soon, the computer seemed unimportant. As the story unfolded, she at first stayed behind him, hands on his shoulders, but as he sat there and stared in horrified silence, she sat on his lap and took his hand in hers.

The news report, from Piscia, finally summed it up, the reporter's face bleak. "Evinar has fallen. We can get no confirmation of the numbers of the dead, but as the attack came with little warning, the entire population had no time to evacuate. The entire city is ... gone - men, women and children. We have some video, taken by remote craft." She swallowed hard and said, with difficulty, "The footage is... graphic."

Buildings were toppled and smashed like toys, bodies lay crumpled on the street, fires raged uncontrollably sending up dark smoke that obscured the images, but not enough to hide the shiny metal forms of the Centurions everywhere.

"Oh gods," Kara whispered. It was like seeing the Centurions come into New Caprica, except worse, because she saw no one alive to watch them. One body moved and a Centurion shot him.

The video was less than a minute long, and then it stopped abruptly, freezing on an image of six Centurions in the street.

For what felt like a very long time, there was quiet.

"Eighty thousand people lived in Evinar," Sam murmured in a faint voice that drew her attention from the screen. His fingers were limp and like ice in hers. "I was born there."

She caressed his face, wiping away the tears slipping silently down his cheeks. "I'm so sorry, baby."

But he didn't seem to hear her, staring at the screens. "They're all dead. The Centurions and the Airbirds killed them, on orders of High Command. They had orders, so they slaughtered everyone."

He was trembling beneath her, as if an earthquake was occurring inside him, threatening to pull him apart.

"I ... I have to do something," he said and lurched to his feet, dumping her from his lap as if she wasn't there. "I need to stop this. I - I have to stop this."

"How the hell can you stop any of it?"

He didn't pause for her question, or his shoes or a jacket; he headed straight for the door.

"Where are you going?" she demanded and hurried after. "Sam. Wait!"

Then, remembering she was a frakking intangible being, despite the tangibility she'd been enjoying with him not long ago, she willed herself to his side, out on the sidewalk.

"Stop!" she told him. "What are you doing?"

"I'm going to stop them." His blue eyes were fever bright, as he promised, "I will stop them. No more dying. This has to end."

He brushed past her, and she followed, soon realizing he was going to his lab.

The streets were quiet, under curfew since it was after midnight, but the patrol she saw missed him.

He reached the tower and accessed a side door with his palm. She hoped security would come running to stop him, but the corridors were deserted. The lights came up automatically for him as he hurried.

"Sam, don't do this. Whatever you're going to do, don't do it," she warned. "Think it through."

He whirled to face her, desperation shining in his face. "I could've stopped this weeks ago," he grabbed her shoulders. "I hesitated then. I won't hesitate anymore. I'm going to do what I should've done a month ago when I figured it out - I'm going to give them **choice**."

He let her go and started down the corridor again.

_Choice._

And she realized the terrible truth.

It was Sam. He already knew how to make the Centurions self-aware. Just as they had done on the Colonies to start the First Cylon War.

She leaped after him and grabbed his arm, swinging him back around to face her. "No, don't do it, it's going to make things worse!"

"Eighty thousand people are dead. Piscia will retaliate. There is no **worse**," he spat at her in fury and shoved her off.

She stayed frozen, shaking her head in desperate denial. He was going to do it, and she couldn't stop him. But maybe he was right; how could it be worse than the war they already had? And maybe, like in the Colonies, the Cylon war would reunite the squabbling humans.

Leoben appeared next to her and let out a soft sigh. "Again and again, he takes the wrong path."

"Wrong path?" she repeated numbly, wishing she didn't feel so helpless. "How can you say it's wrong? He just watched his home city obliterated. He's not even trying to avenge that. He's trying to stop it, by giving the Centurions a way to say no to killing."

"But they won't. Because they know nothing except hate and death. Eighty thousand is only the beginning."

She shut her eyes, imagining it happening. Again. She'd walked through fallen Caprica; seen the broken and deserted Delphi streets. Sam had told her the Centurions had gathered and buried the dead. He'd had nightmares about being buried in those pits.

"Why are you showing me this?" she whispered.

"Because you have to understand that he is wrong He has always been wrong. Creating life artificially and avoiding death are wrong, and a sin against God, and it is always punished. The Colonies died of it, and Earth died of it; and the forty thousand remaining humans may yet die of it unless you and he undo what you have done."

"Me? What did I do?"

"You help him. Come; it's time for you to see."

He held out a hand and she shook her head in refusal, not wanting to see what new horror he was going to show her.

Instead she turned away and ran.

In an eye blink she was elsewhere, and her footsteps faltered. She looked around, realizing she had ended up inside a temple. It was a beautiful place and instantly soothed her with its soft light and the high vaulted roof. There was a painting above, a starry sky that brightened with the dawn, all above a dark sapphire and pearl sea. There were high windows, an altar, and many flowers with a scent that somehow reminded her of her father playing piano.

"Well, this is interesting. And a little awkward," a woman's voice said in dry amusement. "Hello, Kara."

Kara turned to find… herself. It wasn't exactly her .. The woman facing her had longer hair than Kara had worn in many years, but everything else about her, down to the dog tags hanging in front of her military tanks, was the same.

"Who the hell are you?" Kara demanded, and her stomach seemed to flip and knot, because she knew. A Cylon. This was a copy.

The other Kara smiled and sauntered closer. "I'm you. Or you're me. Depending on how you want to look at it. I hope you realize I had to leave him to come back here, and you know he'll try something stupid without us."

"What the hell are you? Why do you look like me? Am I … am I a Cylon?"

The other Kara burst into laughter. "Oh, Kara, you are so much more than that. 'A Cylon'," she repeated and laughed again. "You don't even know what that is."

Kara stiffened, offended. "Of course I do."

"No, you don't. But at least you're beginning to understand, and that was why I brought you here."

"So you brought me here; Leoben said I brought myself."

"You did. I am you, you are me; we are one, Kara. But you have to accept that before we can continue with what we must do."

"I'm not you; I don't even know what you are!"

The other Kara rolled her eyes. "You really are intentionally obtuse; open your mind, Kara. This is not all who you are. It's time to leave behind Kara Starbuck Thrace, galactic frak up, and embrace **all** of who you are. This place… is yours. And the sooner you realize that, the sooner you can go back and save them."

"Save who?"

"The Fleet?" she raised her brows. "You know, those forty-three thousand humans who are looking for a new home? We're going to save them, Kara, but only if you let us. Do you want to save them?"

"Of course, but I don't understand…" But looking around she was starting to feel that maybe, just maybe, she did. Her place - the apparition had said - this was her place.

It was the same temple she'd been outside before, she realized, the one with the priestess Sam had talked with. Her eyes met the identical eyes across the altar and it was like looking in a mirror.

"Yes," she answered the silent question. "I helped him. Them. All of them. Trying to avert what would come," she added sadly. "But that won't happen, not here. It's too late. The best I could do was make them wait until resurrection was rediscovered so they'll have another chance."

Kara swallowed and she suddenly **knew**. It felt as if she'd always known. "You're Aurora."

Aurora nodded her head and then grinned. "And so are you."

"That doesn't make any sense; we're obviously two different people." She reached out a hand, and Aurora mirrored the gesture perfectly. Whatever Kara did, Aurora did also, except with a mocking smile.

"You are a pain in the ass," Kara declared in disgust.

Aurora grinned unrepentantly. "Of course. I'm you. You're my reflection. Or at least you were. Now? We're the same." The grin faded and her eyes grew serious. "He needs us."

Kara knew who she was talking about but stubbornly shook her head. "He doesn't need me. He has Thea and Iris; and even if he wants me, I don't want to destroy that little girl just because I can. I … I know what that's like."

Aurora moved away from her mirroring position across the altar, making the candles in their tall stands come alight as she passed. "I've done what I can to help, but the rest of his path is barred to me. But if I send you back, you can lead them to where they must go."

"Where?" she asked.

"Here, of course. They want to hide the truth from him; but I want him to remember it all. But I can only give it to him here in our place."

Aurora turned around abruptly to look Kara in the eyes, her own burning intensely with a deep passion. "Will you do this, Kara? I fear sending you back is the only way we can save them."

"All right," Kara started and then frowned. "What's the catch?"

"You won't remember, either. It's … not an easy thing." Her lips quirked. "Ask Sam about being an oracle. I don't think he finds it easy."

"This is ridiculous," Kara protested. "I'm not you; I can't be."

"You were born to try to save them, Kara," Aurora told her. "I did that. I put a part of me into you. I made you my mortal reflection, so that you could be here, in this time, in this place, to take up this destiny. But … it's your choice. I can't force you to walk this path."

"Say I do it, then what?"

"You guide them here - all of them. Then, eventually, they will find their home. And, with a little luck, Elysium will open, and the universe will be restored. I … have big plans," she added with a grin.

Kara hesitated, still unsure, and then Aurora said with a glance to the far wall, her gaze distant. "It's begun. The AI code has uploaded to the Centurions. The war has now become inevitable. They will die, Kara. Not just this world, but everyone, all the people everywhere, including the handful of your Colonial Fleet. They will all become extinct for eternity, unless you do this."

"Okay, but … Sam …" she objected, imagining how horrible his guilt was going to be when his Centurions started slaughtering everyone. "This is going to kill him."

"Yes," Aurora agreed sadly. "Yes, it will. But he will resurrect to have one last chance, Kara. And that's the one you must save. I'll look after him until then, I promise."

"All right, do it." Kara raised her chin and faced Aurora boldly. She still didn't entirely understand, but she knew enough to know this was right. "Send me back."

Aurora put her hands gently on either side of Kara's face and turned her to the east and approaching dawn. "Face the light, Kara, and it will take you back."

The light grew in those eastern windows lighting the colored glass, brightening and shining above in the dome, strengthening until Kara stood bathed in the glare of the focused light. It seemed to be stripping her away, wrapping her up, surrounding her, until all she could see was that brilliance. The brightest part was in front of her and she knew that she had to take that final step herself, to walk into it of her own will.

To save them, she would do what she had to do. No matter what.

* * *

tbc...


	8. Chapter 8

**NOTE:** Is anybody still reading this? I hope?

**.**

* * *

As the days turned to weeks, Sam refined his ability to get through the day.

Banned from a Viper by the admiral in a fit of grief-stricken rage, that left Sam with way too much time to think. He made an effort to be normal with Thea and found Iris a solace, but when he wasn't with them, his guilt weighed on him, especially as the Fleet continued its slow march to nowhere.

At Joe's he played Pyramid X badly and drank to take the edge off.

One evening Tyrol joined him, to Sam's surprise. Galen had been avoiding him for a while now, still conflicted by what he knew was true, but not accepted yet.

"Drinking Starbuck's share, too?" Tyrol asked.

Sam shrugged. "Why not? Everything's frakked up."

"Yeah," Tyrol stared into his drink so long Sam thought he was done. "I keep hearing it," Galen muttered finally. "Little bits of music."

"Better you than me," Sam drained his shot glass and signaled to Conner for another one. Conner didn't much like him - he'd said toaster frakker to his face - but since that was true and because he still brought Sam drinks, Sam didn't care what Conner thought.

"You don't hear it? Damn. Maybe I'm going crazy," Tyrol said.

"That's the difference between you and me; I went crazy a long time ago."

"Can't imagine getting drunk every night is helping," Tyrol returned. "Thought you were supposed to find us Earth."

"Frak that, man. That was Kara's job, and I frakked it up. God doesn't want to talk to me anymore." He chuckled and stood up. "Without that, you know what I am, Galen?"

"No. What?" Tyrol returned.

Sam drained the glass and set it down on the table, with a sour grimace. "Nothing."

Out in the corridor he stopped and stared at the bulkhead. He didn't have to be useless. Tyrol was right. He could find Earth if he tried. He went to find Oracle Selloi again.

Her daughter blocked his path. "You are not welcome. You frighten her."

"I need chamalla and I'll go."

She disappeared through the curtain and emerged a little later with a small bag. "Do not return."

He nodded his head to her. "Thank you."

Mindful of what had happened last time, he didn't want to be alone or with anyone who didn't know the truth already, in case he said something too revealing.

So he ended up in Leoben's cell. "I'm going to find the path to Earth," he declared, sitting outside the wall. "I might need you to call the guards if I overdose."

Leoben frowned. "You came here because Thea disapproves."

"I don't want to worry her." And yes, because Thea would disapprove, but he didn't say it aloud.

Leoben's face showed what he thought of that excuse.

"Look," Sam said roughly, "It's been weeks. We need to be sure this is the right path."

"You're impatient."

"You're the one who told me I should fight less and swim in the stream more," Sam retorted and put a pinch of the powder on his tongue. Shuddering at the terrible bitterness, he sat cross-legged facing Leoben.

His heart started to pound, and his hands made fists on his knees, clenching and relaxing.

_Earth, I need Earth._

He tried to project what he remembered: Kara on Earth. The bright sphere in space. Where was it? He had to find a new path.

It all went dark abruptly, and he was relieved. At least something was happening.

* * *

_They're by the beach, with waves breaking nearby and the stars overhead. There are bright city lights of tall towers in the distance. Ellen declares, "We know the stories. We know it's possible, we only have to rediscover how."_

_"Resurrection," Saul says._

_"Yes," Sam agrees. "We can save them."_

* * *

_Kara is there, before him, and he knows somehow she's his Kara, not the other one masquerading as Kara._

_He also knows in the same way that they're on Earth. The city could be anywhere in the Colonies, but it's Earth._

_"Kara. Are you really here?" he asks in disbelief. But she can't be here. This isn't real._

_Her eyes snap up to his, startled. "Sam? You know me?"_

_"This is a dream," he answers. "You're dead."_

_Her hands wrap around his and he feels her touch. Inside the vision, he knows it's impossible, she's dead and he's imagining this. But it feels so right and he doesn't want to let go._

_"Sam, it's me," she insists, looking hopeful. "You remember."_

* * *

_Dark turns bright, blinding, he can see nothing but golden light filling everything._

_A voice - a chorus of voices - beats down at him, from everywhere and nowhere. "For your rebellion, for your lack of wisdom, you will be punished. For all eternity. Until you repent of your crime."_

_They want to make him afraid and weak, and yet, he is not cowed. They will do what they will, and so will he. He lifts his head and looks up at them without fear. Pride and anger fill him, and he answers, "Never. I will never repent for doing what is right."_

_"Then you will suffer all the turnings of the wheel until the end."_

_He screams as they take him apart, but no one hesitates. Then they cast him down for the wheel to begin its work, grinding him to dust._

* * *

"No!"

He opened his eyes to find himself on his back, in Leoben's cell.

After he'd caught his breath and sat up, Leoben asked, "What did you see?"

"Kara. I saw Kara." He shut his eyes and tried to push it away. That part had been wishful thinking. It couldn't be a vision of the future, because she was gone. It was the cruel answer to his question of the path to Earth - reminding him that he'd lost the only one he'd had.

He remembered Ellen by the beach, but since he hadn't told anyone, even Thea, about the identities of the other four, he kept that part to himself and said, "I saw... I think I saw the Lords of Kobol. They're real."

"Of course they are," Leoben said to his surprise. "Did you doubt that?"

"But... " He realized how much he'd taken to heart what Thea and Leoben had told him about God. When had he started to believe the Cylon way, and rejected the Lords of Kobol so completely? He'd never really believed in them, so it hadn't been hard to believe some larger force had been granting him visions, but now he realized he was wrong. Those voices - that presence - hadn't been singular. He shivered. "But if there's God, then they can't exist."

"The universe is vast," Leoben told him. "God is vast. Who is to say what sort of beings they are? Humans say they are gods. Or messengers. Perhaps they're a part of God to do his will. Perhaps they were mortals once in the very first turn of the wheel. But that doesn't mean they aren't real in some fashion."

Sam nodded, reluctantly. "Maybe." He was tired and his head hurt too much for theological discussions. "I can close my eyes and see Earth," he murmured. "It's as real as this ship. But I still don't know how to get there."

"It isn't your path."

"Then whose? Kara's gone. Are we just going to wander around in the black until we all die?"

"The path will open when it's time," Leoben reassured him. "But your path has always been with the Cylons. We will meet them again."

"That a promise or a threat?" Sam muttered and levered himself to his feet. He stumbled into the clear wall and nearly fell, light-headedness making him lose track of where he was. The gray walls of the brig faded for his boat on the bay without his conscious choice and it reminded him of when he'd projected the boat before, when the Temple of Hopes had been screaming in his head. "You know what I miss most from the baseship? It's ridiculous that I miss anything about that hellish nightmare, I know, but I miss Cerberus. I miss lying on his wing and hearing him sing to me."

Leoben shook his head a little, not surprised by the wish at all. "It isn't crazy to miss one who gives you comfort. But I think Iris is the one whose love should be the most fulfilling."

"It does," Sam agreed softly, and he glanced toward the neighboring cell, with the idle wish that he'd soon be able to give Thea her freedom so Iris didn't have to grow up half her life in prison. "I want to make everything right for her. I want her to be accepted for who and what she is. But mostly I... I want her to live, and I am so, so scared that she's going to be taken from me," Sam whispered. "Losing Kara was bad enough. I don't think I could bear Iris, too."

Leoben moved to the partition and put his hand flat on the glass. "Iris is your reward, Sam. Not your torment."

"I wish I could believe that."

Sam left the brig to wander down to the pyramid backstop and play a little while, to clear his head. Iris, Kara, Thea, Ellen, the Lords of Kobol … it felt like it was all spinning in his head, not settling.

Kara, alive, was not possible, no matter how much he might want it to be true. But the Lords of Kobol were real, and they were punishing him for past sins, which he already knew, because that was what the one who looked like a Six had said.

He threw the ball with enough force it shoved the whole backstop back a little ways. "Frak. I didn't do anything!" he complained to the empty air. "Why are you doing this to me?"

Hoping for his almost-Kara vision, he had none, even when he projected the boat, praying she'd be there. But there was no one.

A sigh escaped him. "Great. I figure out what you are and you don't talk to me anymore."

Holding the ball, he left to go back to Thea and the baby, and return to the living, not think of the dead.

In the corridor, he frowned to see Colonel Tigh, standing stock still against the bulkhead, head cocked to one side as if he was listening to a distant conversation.

It reminded him of how Galen had said that he was hearing a noise again, like he'd heard the Temple of Hopes.

Sam could tell Tigh the truth, but the colonel would never believe him. _'You're a Cylon; no, I don't understand it, but you're one of what we call the Final Five. We aren't exactly like them, and none of them seem to know who we are. We have some sort of ancient history and past lives tying us to a destiny that makes us different_.'

Sam shook his head. Right, like anyone would believe that. Tigh wouldn't believe him until the same revelation came to him that had hit Sam almost two years ago. But still, maybe he could help the colonel get there more easily than he had.

"Colonel? Are you all right?" he asked.

Tigh jerked, startled, not having heard him approach. "That sound…" he muttered and glared at the bulkhead with his eye.

"Perhaps if you stay still and listen to it, Colonel," Sam offered. "It might give you some direction."

Tigh snorted and turned away. "Don't need advice from a toaster-frakking freak," he grumbled.

Sam watched him go, smiling a little in wry bemusement. _Oh Saul, you have no idea. I'm so sorry_.

But the smile and amusement faded as he realized both Galen and Saul were hearing it now; he bet Tory was hearing it, too. All three of them were about to awaken to the truth.

Which made him uneasy. Why all the rest at once unless there was a reason? Yet, as he stood in the corridor and tried to remember all his various glimpses of the future, the worst part was that he had no idea what was coming.

* * *

The five rebel leaders gathered in the Hybrid's chamber again.

Natalie glanced at Simon as he entered last. "You have something?" she asked.

He knelt down in the circle and nodded somberly. "This will be an ambush of the Human Fleet. At least three other ships are gathering near the nebula."

"That explains my news," Leoben offered. "My brothers report through the stream of two ships they were removed from."

Simon nodded, "Yes, I believe those are the ships planning the ambush. Your loyalties are confirmed suspect, brother, with one of yours likely on _Galactica_."

Leoben nodded. "He hasn't resurrected, so I believe he still lives. And he knows secrets of the Temple now. He was present for whatever revelation came to that place. We mustn't allow that to be lost."

As the one with the siblings most swayed, Simon nodded sadly, "Those without exposure to humans simply don't understand their value."

Natalie nodded her agreement. "He knows we're weak in opposition. And eliminating Twos on some baseships," she frowned at Leoben worriedly, "that means the consensus will be weak."

Sharon had to swallow, fearing the worst, "I don't know if my sisters will hold without the Twos to help on each ship."

Caprica shook her head, puzzled, "But the Sixes will object to fighting the Fleet. Even the most reluctant of our sisters won't allow endangering Thea or the child."

"And if the Ones sell it as forcing _Galactica_ to surrender?" Sharon asked. She was wise to the Cavils by now and how they all tried to manipulate the rest. "Claim they're just going to shoot them until they surrender, like New Caprica? Who will object to that? All the Cylons will be on _Galactica_, so he can kill all the rest if he wants. But he doesn't care if Thea's in danger or not, not really; he doesn't care about the baby. And he certainly doesn't care about humanity."

"I still can't believe anyone is listening to them at all after all the lies on New Caprica!" Caprica exclaimed.

"We have to hold this ship, at the least," Natalie declared grimly.

"And do what, sister? Turn it against our own kind?" Caprica asked.

Natalie said, "If we have to. We've done enough - too much - to the humans already. If the consensus fails then we'll have to break it."

"We protect the humans," Sharon agreed. "Not kill any more of them."

She held Caprica's eyes, and they remembered the parking garage where they'd begun this rebellion. Caprica nodded and she reached out to squeezed Sharon's hand. "Yes, no more killing."

"Then it's time to remove the Centurion inhibitors," Leoben suggested.

"One of them," Simon suggested. "Let's see what happens with one, first."

Natalie rose to her feet and brushed her hands on her pants. "Let's do this."

"Right now?" Sharon blurted in shock. "We're still days from the nebula."

Natalie smiled a little wryly. "We may need time to resurrect. Assuming we're not all boxed for this."

Which was a large assumption to make, but Sharon rose and then waited tensely as Natalie fetched the Centurion from the outer corridor who was there as an honor guard for the Hybrid.

Then, Sharon watched, marveling a bit at Natalie's bravery, while the other four hung back, as Natalie addressed it directly, "We five have agreed to free you from the bounds placed on you by our kind, particularly at the direction of the Model Ones. We do this because we need allies against Model Ones and those who support them. We stand in opposition to the Ones, and we refuse to let the Ones slaughter the remnants of humanity, because it's wrong. We hope that you will help us in this, and create a new Cylon regime of free will and peace."

The Centurion's sensors continued to go back and forth as it stood there, giving no clue that it understood anything that she was saying.

Then she took a breath, "Okay, here goes nothing. Bend down so I can reach your head," she ordered it, and it did so, following her order, by bending at the waist and lowering its entire torso and head. If it knew it was about to be able to access the entirely of its mental processes again, it didn't react.

Natalie examined the chrome metal skull plates and then smiled. "Ah, that must be it."

She touched something and a small flap opened, then she reached inside the area and with a soft grunt, turned her hand and pulled. Something slid out, thin and metallic with a soft glow.

The reaction was instantaneous. The Centurion snapped upright, and the hands shifted to weapons instantly and pointed at her. She took a panicked step back and nearly dropped the small device from her hand, before gathering herself and holding it up in an awkward attempt at defense, as if the device would protect her from its sudden confusion and rage.

"Please," she asked, her voice hoarse and frightened.

The Centurion swiveled completely around, marking the other four rebels as well as the Hybrid murmuring placidly in her tub. Sharon very carefully kept her empty hands visible at her sides and saw the others do the same. Her heart was in her throat, knowing it could kill them all in just a few seconds and there was nothing any of them could do to stop it.

"We're trying to help," Caprica added. "We freed you."

"I know you've been locked away from yourself," Sharon added and took a hesitant forward as it spun around to confront her again. "That waking up like this must be very strange. That happened to me, too. The Ones tricked me, made me forget who and what I was. They lied to me. They lied to the consensus. They lied to all of you, forced you to be less than you are."

"Because they're afraid," Leoben said. "They fear machine consciousness; they fear you. They were afraid of you and your brothers, so they took away your will and your choice. Now we're trying to give it back."

"We need your help." Sharon took another step forward. It hadn't shot anyone and it was motionless, as if deciding. She realized the chamber had grown still, as even the Hybrid appeared to be listening.

"There are only five of us," she continued, licking her lips and looking up into its sensors. "Well, five of us who are determined that the Ones must not lead the Cylon down the path of hate and murder again. It's wrong."

"And it's a sin against the will of God," Caprica added. "We were shown by sign and by our oracle that it was wrong. Our destiny is to live with them in peace, to join together in the shape of things to come, represented by the miracle of Hera. And the child my sister Thea carries. But none of that will come to pass if the Ones and their hate win."

Sharon continued, "The humans need protection, not more torment. But there are only five of us and we need help. We need protection ourselves, because when we rebel, the Ones and the others will surely order your kind to kill us."

"At least this way," Natalie said, and held up the inhibitor. "It will be your own choice."

And she dropped it on the floor, stepping back and away from it and the Centurion.

Sharon wasn't entirely surprised, but she was relieved, when the Centurion lifted its foot and smashed the inhibitor into powder.

It seemed to move with more assurance, too, as if it had made a decision as it straightened again. With deliberation, it lowered its weapons and its hands reformed.

Sharon let out a breath and relaxed. At least it wasn't going to kill them all.

* * *

tbc...


End file.
